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WORLD NEWS

Wang! Bang! Thank you, ma'am!

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Posted March 04, 2013
kok wang causes storm of controversy
Backlash: Kok's controversial article. © The Rake & Herald

Kok Wang controversy latest: Minister calls him a "c--t" while protests mount in Spain.


The latest article by Rake & Herald fashion editor Kok Wang has caused a bigger stink than a bag full of turds.

Entitled Chris Eubank invents trousers, the carefully crafted article by the doyen of the Leytonstone literati details the new type of trouser invented by former middleweight boxing champ Chris Eubank.

However, while few have disputed that Eubank's jodhousers are indeed a cross between a pair of jodhpurs and a pair of suit trousers, Wang's assertion that the former pugilist is a "fackin' genius" has so riled some readers that they have been forced to spew their bile all over our sink.

One such irate reader is Welton Minister of Melton Mowbray, Leicestershire.

Writing in a pub toilet, Minister states: "Kok Wang is a c--t."

"To be a genius," he continues, "Eubank would have to have an IQ of at least 180."

"Get your facts right, Wang, you tosser!"


BANG'S BACKLASH
However, the most scathing attack has come from the Rake & Herald's own society editor, skate punk Wolfgang Bang, who scathingly texted that Rake bloke the following scathing text:

"F--king Chris Eubank?"

"Went on a skate trip to Brighton in the mid 90s."

"Our arrival coincided with the London to Brighton annual car rally and thousands of cyclists."

"Imagine the pleasure of two car loads of hardcore skaters stuck in a traffic jam of dysfunctional vintage chromium-driving cock ends and inverse snobbery Guardian-reading rainbow Nazis."

"And Chris f--king Eubank in a giant American lorry towing absolutely nothing but his failed boxing career and his f--king penchant for Savile Row tailoring."

"After we parked up two hours later and skated, we saw him again in a Humvee."

"Two hours later again as we ate chips and wondered why Brighton was shit, he cruises past on a Harley Davidson."

"And as we prepared for our return we saw him on a carbon fibre mountain bike."

"I ventured the next sighting would be stark bollock naked on roller skates but it got too dark and we were heading in the other direction."

"What a Harris Tweed."

Speaking on Radio 4's Today programme, Wang justified his position by telling listeners they could "fack right off".

Meanwhile in Spain, there have been protests at Madrid airport over job cuts.


See also Chris Eubank invents trousers, posted 26/2/13.



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