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Spam theft rocks Hawaii

By crime editor Dick Rampant

Posted October 19, 2017
Spam theft rocks Hawaii

Hawaii rocked by Spam theft while Texas bloke nicks fajitas worth $1.2m.

In news that could have come straight out of a storyline from Hawaii 5-O, Honolulu police have announced that they are hunting two blaggards who stole a case of Spam from a shop.

The men entered the shop using their feet.

According to the Star Advertiser, one of them then "selected a case of Spam, concealed it, then left the store without paying".

Under US law, this constitutes theft, which is a crime.

So too is punching a security guard, which also happened.


The men are believed to be mortal with calcium-based skeletons.

Neither look like plankton.

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Meanwhile, in other news, Breibart reports that a Texas juvenile detention centre worker has been nicked for allegedly thieving more than $1.2m (£0.9m) worth of fajitas.

Rather than shoving them up his jumper in one daring bout of shoplifting, though, it appears that Gilberto Escamilla had been nicking them for nine years, ordering truckloads of the things then billing his employers for each consignment before flogging them on to regular customers.

His undoing?

Apparently, he took the wrong day off.

When his last fraudulent consignment arrived, so Breitbart says:

"the woman called out to receive the order was shocked because the juvenile detention centre does not serve fajita meat as a meal option. The driver responded that he [had] been delivering fajitas to the office for years."

Escamilla is now in chokey.

Here's Splodgenessabounds.

Hat tip: Aaron 'the Spicochist' Wakamatsu.

See also Man throws coffee at wall shocker, posted 30/8/17, and Yarmouth Five-O, posted 22/1/15.

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