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NEWS & FORTEANA

Shapeshifter spotted in shop

Newswire/FDC, Paris

Posted October 17, 2012
reptilian shapeshifter
Farty noise: Alien. © FDC

Extraterrestrials walk among us: irrefutable proof found in supermarket.


WARSAW, Oct 17 (FDC) – Undeniable proof that reptilian shapeshifters exist emerged yesterday when a 32-year-old bargain bucket shopper captured one in his local cheapy supermarket.

"I was just rummaging through all the clag they had in the dry goods section when I stumbled upon this semi-human, semi-reptilian creature about 21 cm tall," says visibly shaken unnamed house painter Zbigniew Golonka, 38.

Speaking on condition of anonymity, Golonka continues: "I was absolutely shocked because when I squeezed it, it changed shape a bit and made a kinda squeaky sighing sound."

Golonka wasted no time in alerting the authorities to his discovery.

"As soon as I got home I stuck it under a cushion."

"When my girlfriend sat down it made a funny farty noise."

"I pissed myself laughing."

Golonka now intends to stick it under her pillow when she least expects it.


Reporting: Dominique Salope. Editing: Charlot Nichons.


© 2012 L'Agence Presse Fontaine des Conneries (FDC) under exclusive licence to the Rake & Herald. No part of this report may partake in reproduction without partner's written consent.



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