Adverts, innum?
rake clag

WORLD NEWS

Shapeshifter spotted in shop

Newswire/FDC, Paris

Posted October 17, 2012
reptilian shapeshifter
Farty noise: Alien. © FDC

Extraterrestrials walk among us: irrefutable proof found in supermarket.


WARSAW, Oct 17 (FDC) – Undeniable proof that reptilian shapeshifters exist emerged yesterday when a 32-year-old bargain bucket shopper captured one in his local cheapy supermarket.

"I was just rummaging through all the clag they had in the dry goods section when I stumbled upon this semi-human, semi-reptilian creature about 21 cm tall," says visibly shaken unnamed house painter Zbigniew Golonka, 38.

Speaking on condition of anonymity, Golonka continues: "I was absolutely shocked because when I squeezed it, it changed shape a bit and made a kinda squeaky sighing sound."

Golonka wasted no time in alerting the authorities to his discovery.

"As soon as I got home I stuck it under a cushion."

"When my girlfriend sat down it made a funny farty noise."

"I pissed myself laughing."

Golonka now intends to stick it under her pillow when she least expects it.


Reporting: Dominique Salope. Editing: Charlot Nichons.


© 2012 L'Agence Presse Fontaine des Conneries (FDC) under exclusive licence to the Rake & Herald. No part of this report may partake in reproduction without partner's written consent.



Share this story, yeah?

MORE FROM WORLD NEWS

Charlestown bogs sell for £115k

Charlestown public toilets sell for £115k

The public khazis in 'St Austell's port' sold to former glamour model; 'redevelopment' to detriment of locals likely.

Look at me!

selfies are rubbish

Selfie-obsessed narcissist Sandra Pissflaps has just posted another picture of herself on every social media site imaginable.

No way! Daisy Duke's into caravans

Catherine Bach who played daisy duke in the dukes of hazzard loves caravans

Daisy Duke can't get enough of caravans, which is why she's heading to Brum.

SHARE THE RAKE