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WORLD NEWS

St Austell bin "best in world"

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Posted October 10, 2013
saint austell bin voted best in the world
World beater: The award-winning bin in High Cross Street yesterday. © Ignatius Rake

Cornish town lands prestigious bin award; civic pride restored.


There is a palpable sense of joy on the streets of St Austell today following news that a bin on High Cross Street has been voted the Best Bin in the World by an international panel of judges.

Located close to a takeaway near the heart of Cornwall's most populous town, the bin has long been a favourite with locals and emmets alike.

"That's some bin, innum?" one local man known only as Jedd told the Rake & Herald.

"Found some bones in it once."

"Made 'em into a skirt."



The best bin in the world is in Saint Austell
It's official: A close-up of the inscription. © Ignatius Rake

CIVIC PRIDE
It is hoped the award will go some way to restoring damaged civic pride.

"Some people say St Austell has gone to the dogs," local councillor Dennis Trebaskiss told a packed press conference.

"They say it's blighted by unemployment, empty shops and all those 'recovering' junkies from up country."

"Well, I say to them: 'Come and have a look at this bin.'"

However, not everyone has welcomed the award.

Outspoken critic of the bin Turd Lemsip, for instance, believes the judges should have chosen an overflowing dog waste receptacle in Phernyssick Road instead.

Referring to his preferred choice, Lemsip told the Rake & Herald: "It's an expression of deep urban joy."

"One must eat, then it follows one must excrete."

"Then wrap it in plastic and delight in the aroma of fetid dog eggs baking in the sun."

"Must dash."

"I'm off to masturbate in a slurry pit," he added.

"Again."


See also It's all kicking off in St Austell, posted 1/8/13.


This article was first posted on the old R&H 18/9/13.



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