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NEWS & FORTEANA

Nazis forced to rebrand

By business editor Randy Gutstick III

Posted September 04, 2017
Nazis forced to rebrand
Head for business: Randy Gutstick III yesterday. © Ignatius Rake

Nazis threaten legal action over 'rampant copyright infringement'.



"It's not fair," says Helmut Knopf-Käse, vice-president, sales and marketing, for the now defunct and proscribed National Socialist German Workers Party (NSDAP), aka the Nazis.

"We thought of the name first but now everyone's a bloody Nazi."

"It's Nazi this, Nazi that."

"Well, I'm sick of our name being dragged through the mud by every third-rate hack too lazy or stupid to embrace accuracy or originality."


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PINKO-LEFTIE
"Just the other day, I heard some pinko-leftie describe Donald Trump as a Nazi," he continues, all spittle flying out of his face.

"A Nazi!"

"I mean, you might not like him, especially with that hair, but does he actually seek to establish socialism in tandem with the eradication of entire races based on the occult teachings of the Vril and Thule Societies?"

"No, he does not, so stop calling him a Nazi."

But it's not just whinging "subhuman scum" that get Knopf-Käse's goat.

"The right are just as bloody bad," he screams.

"I saw some YouTuber call a women's-libber a feminazi."

"A feminazi!"

"What the hell is that meant to mean?"

Read more: Anti-bullshit protests escalate.

"OK, you might not like them, especially with that hair, but do they actually seek to establish socialism in tandem with the eradication of entire races based on the occult teachings of the Vril and Thule Societies?"

"No, they do not, so stop calling them Nazis."

"And that goes for safety Nazis, grammar Nazis and every other fake bloody non-Nazi Nazi out there."

"Seriously, I'm gonna start suing big-time," he warns, jabbing the air with a pointy finger.

"But until then, we're rebranding as the Nazi Nazis."

"After all, we've got a reputation to protect."


See also Hitler no match for Cornwall Council, posted 14/12/15.


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