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Mother Earth, flat as a pancake

By guest editor Richard Caldwell

Posted December 05, 2017
Mother Earth, flat as a pancake
Earth from space: Yep, it's definitely flat. Public domain

The growing popularity of the flat Earth fallacy is symptomatic of a far greater modern malaise, writes Richard Caldwell.

The Associated Press (AP) is reporting that 'Mad' Mike Hughes, a self-taught rocket scientist, has been planning on launching himself about a mile (1.6 km) up into the sky.

His ship, a one-of-a-kind, steam-powered clunker he built himself from salvage scraps, would ideally carry him high enough to validate his mission of proving that the Earth is flat.

As such, federal authorities had requested that he make his jump from the relative safety of a ghost town called Amboy, California, so that when he explodes nobody of any importance might be hurt.

Over a week later, however, and he had yet to make his place in the history books, citing local red tape while walking back the flat-Earth element of his mission in exchange for hopes of merely setting a world record of highest jump from a ramp.

The kicker is that the AP quoted him as saying "I don't believe in science" before later reporting him as stating: "I want to inspire others."

B.o.B NOT B.O.B.
In a separate story, rapper B.o.B based in Atlanta, Georgia (and not to be confused with competitive eating legend Notorious B.O.B.) has before made the nightly news for his efforts fighting on behalf of the Flat Earth movement.

Which cannot move very far lest it fall over the side.

But now he is appealing to his various social media followers to question if slavery actually ever happened, or if it was all just a fabricated conspiracy.

I don't have any funny comments about this guy, just that if I ever met him I'd have the overwhelming impulse to kick him in the nuts.

There has to be a correlation between the adults who insist on getting their news from a singular source, like the conservatives in the US with Fox and liberals in the US with MSNBC, as stark as that is, and colleges and universities indulging in the safe space mentality.

There are schools now doing away with valedictorians just in case it makes lazier students feel unappreciated.

Students are themselves requesting for certain books to be banned.

Teachers who refuse to stop teaching certain elements of history or culture are getting their walking papers.

Both school environments and news outlets are specifically purposed with informing, but if those engaged are only willing to face what they already know or what they feel comfortable with, then they will be filtering out the greater portion of reality.

eggs with Mondrian
What does 'stupid' mean? Don't be thick. Get the T-shirt here. © Ignatius Rake

The same goes for the users of online social media themselves, only following what they already know or feel comfortable with while blocking outright the greater portion for fear of confronting anything that may challenge their personal bias, such as recorded history or time-tested science.

How is such behaviour not jerking circles?

How are safe spaces remotely different from segregation?

These guys, 'Mad' Mike and B.o.B, are what come from that.

Donald Trump is what comes from that.

It's bleak when intelligence gets shamed (in the American Bible Belt, for example, the usage of multiple syllables is widely held as a sign of emasculation), but when the lack thereof is a point of pride, even to the extent of becoming a rallying point, then goddamn.

Being ignorant is nothing to treasure or admire.

Quite the fucking opposite.

A one-track mind is tunnel vision, inevitably foolhardy and dangerous, as seen in gang wars and holy wars and political campaigns.

Efforts applied to proving the conspiracy that denies a flat Earth are efforts distracted from proving the conspiracy that asserts freedom is a tangible thing, or the conspiracy that the staff of the Rake & Herald are not evolved cockroaches broadcasting from several million years in the future.

All schools may just amount to the programming of reaction and repetition, just as all news outlets may just amount to the programming of reaction and repetition, but nobody will see the bigger picture without exposing themselves to as much of it as possible.

The devil may be in the details, but the things not said are what carry the most weight, meaning that bubbles filled like word balloons are vacuous as hell.

It has to be all or nothing at all.

A job left half-done or done plain wrongly is a wife I can sleep with.

Cheers, Richard. No idea how 'Mad' Mike got his name but I wonder if he could explain why, if the Earth is flat, all the other presumably flat discs in the solar system are at right angles to it, including the gas giant discs of Saturn and Jupiter? Honestly, what kind of supposedly sentient creatures millions of years back into our past are we actually broadcasting to?

Furthermore, as a highly-evolved cockroach, I find their increasing tendency to place feelings over facts somewhat saddening to say the least. Can't they see that by doing this they are actively advancing towards their own doom like a bunch of bleddy doomers, as we call such fools in Cornwall?

Seriously, something better change but if you try to point this out to them in this period of increasing political polarisation, you just end up getting shot by both sides. It's outrageous. Their emotions make them a monster.

See also One is the loneliest number, posted 29/11/17.

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Richard Caldwell used to write for the now sadly defunct New Comics Day. Fortunately, his writings still abound elsewhere on the interweb, such as on his flippin' ace blog that you are strongly advised to check out here.

Engage with the Rake & Herald on FaceBook here and Twitter here. Better still, buy a T-shirt here.

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