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NEWS & FORTEANA

I faked the moon landings

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Posted November 20, 2017
I faked the moon landings
Moonhowler: Jedd in his fake space suit yesterday. © Ignatius Rake

Cornishman 'fesses all in no-holds-barred book.



Did humans land on the moon back in 1969, or didn't they?

The debate rages to this day but new revelations from my mate Jedd who lives in a shed down Gover in St Austell look set to finally settle the argument once and for all.

Because Jedd has just self-published a photocopied tatty rag in which he reveals how the whole thing was a hoax he dreamt up in his shed after a few cans of Spesh.


SKIRT
"I was a bit worse for wear," he exclusively tells the Rake & Herald from the same shed he has called home for this past 47 years.

"I was having an argument with myself about whether we would ever land on the moon one night when I decided I'd build a fake rocket and a skirt made of bones."

"I don't know what happened to the skirt but the next day I couldn't believe it when they said on the radio we'd landed a spaceship on the moon – the very moon I'd been arguing with myself about the night before."

"I can't remember how I did it exactly because, as I said, I was a bit pissed."

"But obviously I had because they fell for it on the radio."

Not everyone, however, is convinced.

"Jedd is a known liar," says PC Barry Clarke, who has arrested Jedd on 18 separate occasions for offences ranging from shoplifting to shirtlifting.

"He has got a skirt made of bones, though," he concedes.

"I nicked him in it once."

"It was the night he faked those moon landings."


Cheers, Sandi. Celebrate Jedd's moon landings hoax with this specially commissioned T-shirt that can be yours for as little as $12.95 (£9.80) for a Classic Tee. But hurry. The world could end tomorrow. Or the Moon. One of the two, anyway.


let's get shitfaced t-shirt
Click the pic: to see the full range of moon landing tees and clag on offer. © Ignatius Rake


See also The Cornish Moon Landings, posted 5/3/14.


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Sandi Toxic was raised by wolves inside a disused clay pit near Lanjeth. You can befriend her on FaceBook here. She is still quite feral.


Engage with the Rake & Herald on FaceBook here and Twitter here. Better still, buy a T-shirt here.


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