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Hitler's pants

By guest editor Richard Caldwell

Posted October 12, 2017
hitler's underpants sold at auction
'Avin' a scratch: An artist's impression of Old Schicklgruber in his scuds. © Ignatius Rake

Führer's undercrackers fetch five grand at auction. Richard Caldwell reports.

Because this is precisely the sort of thing that occurs in our world, the underpants of Adolf Hitler, themselves approximately 80 years of age, have recently gone to auction in the States, fetching around 5,000 quid ($6,737).

The embroidered, initialled shorts, measuring a 39" waist, were evidently left behind in an Austrian hotel following a stay in the late 1930s by the man who singlehandedly ruined a moustache before changing hands repeatedly over the ensuing decades.

hitler's underpants
Wot no Y-fronts? The kaks in question. © Alexander Historical Auctions/Raymonds

Despite changing hands like so, auctioneer Bill Panagopulos, owner of Alexander Historical Auctions in Chesapeake City, Maryland, described the über-white linens as "pristine".

Yet as famed chef and cookbook author Johnny Iuzzini once said:

"As chefs, your creativity plays such an important part in your daily work. We truly do have a blank canvas to work with every time we create a new dish."

While it may be true that Iuzzini was by no means referencing the underwear of Hitler, it is also true that leaving motorcycle tracks all over the personal belongings of someone whose nationalism resulted in the torturous deaths of tens of millions is probably quite gratifying.

Cheers, Richard. I see from the Sun that they were made by Schüler of Berlin. I guess Hugo Boss didn't make dunghampers, although he did make plenty of other clobber for the Nazis, of which he was a card-carrying member. More on that from Deutsche Welle here. Right now, though, it's time for Ween.

See also Mesopotamian maths revision, posted 5/9/17.

Richard Caldwell
used to write for the now sadly defunct New Comics Day. Fortunately, his writings still abound elsewhere on the interweb, such as on his flippin' ace blog that you are strongly advised to check out here.

Engage with the Rake & Herald on FaceBook here and Twitter here. Better still, buy a T-shirt here.

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