Adverts, innum?
gif walk


Have you seen this man?

Newswire/FDC, Paris

Posted October 10, 2017
wayne gunt wanted by police in cornwall
Watermelon: Police want to speak to Wayne Gunt. © Ignatius Rake

Cornish cops seek public sex fruit abuser.

TRURO, Oct 10 (FDC) – Police in Cornwall have issued a photofit of a man they would like to speak to in connection with an incident involving a watermelon.

Wayne Gunt, son of notorious Par dog bender Les Gunt, was caught on CCTV in St Austell town centre Wednesday pleasuring himself with the tropical fruit.

"I don't know how he got it all up there," PC Dennis Trebaskiss told a packed press conference.

"He must've used a lot of lube."

have you seen this man t-shirts
Do your bit: Click the pic to order your Wayne Gunt T-shirt now. © Ignatius Rake

See also Par man on dog-bending charge, posted 8/10/15.

Reporting: Marcel Mamelon de Singe. Editing: Phillipe Visage de Fesse.

© 2017 L'Agence Presse Fontaine des Conneries (FDC) under exclusive licence to the Rake & Herald. No part of this report may partake in reproduction without partner's written consent.

Click this, yeah?
rake clag t-shirts, yeah?

Share this story, yeah?


Trufax and TTIP

The Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership (TTIP)

If you thought ACTA was bad, get a load of TTIP, the secret trade agreement that threatens all our freedoms.

Jonathan Pie best UK journalist

Jonathan Pie best UK journalist

Pie wins major award for breaking ranks and telling the truth.

Pies atakuje rybe

Pies atakuje rybę

Pies atakuje rybę.