Adverts, innum?
dick rampant


First Kiss Cornish Edition

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Posted March 14, 2014

Cornish filmmaker Colin Leggo's back and this time the theme is love. Pasty love.

It's exactly one month since St Valentine's Day but that doesn't mean romance is dead.

Not by a long chalk in fact.

Because as anyone from Cornwall knows, pasties are always up for getting their crimped ends away.

Honestly, they rut like bleddy beasts, the buggers!

Anyway, as we don't have a shit pump here at the Rake & Herald we can't be too sure but we get the impression that Colin's latest documentary is a parody of something he's seen on the box.

Whatever it is, it made us laugh, especially the reference to one of his earlier extravaganzas, the virally virulent Grand Theft Cornwall.

It's also shot entirely in black and white, giving it a lovely arty-farty feel, a bit like one of them French films with all subtitles and Fin at the end.

Ten quid and a pint of Stogs, mind, to the first person who spots the beef slice interloper from up country.

Oh, hang on, that was me.

Shit hot!

I've won.

Better spend it all on pasties.

Before they nob each other senseless.

If, however, all that kissing's a bit too cissy for your liking or it just brings back memories of the clap clinic, you'll be pleased to know Colin's not averse to covering much more manly themes, such as football, which Cornish miners introduced to Mexico back in the 19th century, I'll have you know.

So clear your mind of all that rumpy-pumpy nonsense and focus instead on a bunch of grown men running around a field in their shorts.

That's right, it's time to watch Real Goon Gumpus take on the might of Bristol City in the World Cup or summat down Flambards.

We're just sorry to hear Truro City couldn't make it.

While the first two videos are embedded on the Rake & Herald from Colin Leggo's YouTube channel, the third comes from that of The Disarray Gun, with whom Colin collaborated on the footy vids. Meanwhile, to check out Colin's FaceBook page, click this and to watch Westcountry competitive eater the Devonshire Idiot make and neck a St Piran's Day double pasty, cider and clotted cream smoothie, have a click of this. Go on. You know you want to.

See also The Cornish Moon Landings, posted 5/3/14; Cornish Sky, posted 24/2/14; Grand Theft Cornwall, posted 12/2/14; and Cornish Is…, posted 26/3/13.

Sandi Toxic
was raised by wolves inside a disused clay pit near Lanjeth. You can befriend her on FaceBook here. She is still quite feral.

Share this story, yeah?


Why don't we swop jobs!

Running a taxi's a business not a charity.

Running a taxi's a business not a charity.

#MandrillMonday 31/7/17

mandrill monday 31-7-17

It's Monday and that means mandrills, flippin' thousands of 'em in fact!

Kebabs 'n' cabs

kebabs and cabs don't mix

Dickheads with kebabs are all in a night's work when you're a Newquay taxi driver.