Adverts, innum?
dick rampant


Chupacabra strikes in Russia

By some bloke at Cor Blimey!

Posted June 10, 2013
Chupacabra kills rabbits in russia
Who's a pretty boy then? An artist's impression of a chupacabra yesterday. (Check bottom for credits)

Locals in a remote part of Russia are living in fear for their lives after a blood-sucking cryptozoological entity slaughtered a load of rabbits.

A 54-year-old farmer from Krasnikov claims he saw the blood-sucking beast – known as a chupacabra – fleeing from his farm after it tore open the rabbits' steel-framed enclosure.

"I heard a terrible screeching noise coming from outside and looking out of the window saw this alien-like creature with fangs the size of my arms flash by," he told local media.

"In the morning I went outside and found all my rabbits massacred."

"They had been in a cage which the chupacabra ripped open."

"Their bodies were intact and each one had small puncture marks on their necks – but there was no blood on the ground," he added.

Chupacabras, literally 'goat suckers' in Spanish, first hit the headlines in Latin America.

They are said to be the size of small bears, covered in spines and suck the blood of their victims through vampire-like fangs.

"It won't be long before it tires of rabbit blood and wants a man," the farmer warned.

The original version of this article first appeared in Cor Blimey!. It appears here now because they still owe us for that packet of Skips we bought them at Christmas, the tightwads.

Chief hack's note: It is not clear precisely when this large-scale leporid liquidation occurred or exactly how many fluffy little bunnies were exsanguinated but
Cor Blimey! reports the total as being "hundreds". So at least six then. I suppose we could call them up to check but quite frankly we can't be arsed. Besides, they're probably out on the piss at this hour.

In 1998, Jonathan Downes of the UK-based Centre for Fortean Zoology (CFZ), arguably the world's largest professional, scientific and full-time organisation dedicated to the study of cryptozoology, headed to Puerto Rico, Mexico and Miami on the trail of the chupacabra. You can read his report here.

Picture credit

Top and thumb: A chupacabra by Alvin Padayachee.

For licensing information click the above link.

Share this story, yeah?


Happy St Patrick's Day!

kelly's cellars in belfast

The R&H raises a glass to all our Irish readers and writers out there.

Media manipulation exposed

breaking news dammit

New video reveals media's rampant use of photo-manipulation software.

Four lads from Liverpool

four lads from liverpool looking for talent in newquay

For a while, Newquay had a gay bar...