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Canadians see three UFOs a day

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Posted March 12, 2014
breaking news dammit

Last year saw the second highest number of UFOs reported in Canada, a new report reveals.

Canada's Ufology Research (formerly Ufology Research of Manitoba) has just published its 2013 annual report, its 25th to date.

In total, some 1,180 UFO sightings were reported in Canada last year, or just over three a day.

While this, say the authors, viz Geoff Dittman, Chris A Rutkowski and Ashley Kircher, marks "the second-highest number of UFO sightings recorded in Canada during the last 25 years", its was "much less than the peak year of 2012, when almost 2,000 reports were recorded".

So why the drop?

"We suspect [last year's total] was an anomaly and likely due to many people excited about the so-called 'end of the world' in 2012 according to the Mayan Calendar," they reveal, almost as if I'd actually asked them that very question.

Which I didn't.

Overall, the highest number of reports, more than 40%, came from Ontario, which is probably not that surprising given that it's the most populous of Canada's 10 provinces.

While many of the sighting regardless of geography could be explained away, 14% "were classified as unexplained".

With "the typical UFO sighting" in 2013 lasting approximately 13 minutes, the study found that "more than half of all UFO sightings were of simple lights in the sky", although "witnesses also reported point sources of light, spheres and boomerangs".

Importantly, "many witnesses [were] pilots, police and other individuals with reasonably good observing capabilities and good judgement" as opposed to a bunch of hippies smoking banana skins while waiting to pick up their new specs.

But even if 2012 was an anomaly, why were the numbers so high last year?

Well, while they don't claim to have a solid answer for that, the authors do put forward a number of possible reasons:

• more UFOs are present and physically observable by witnesses;

• more secret or classified military exercises and overflights are occurring over populated areas;

• more people are unaware of the nature of conventional or natural objects in the sky;

• more people are taking the time to observe their surroundings;

• more people are able to report their sightings with easier access to the interweb and portable technology; and even

• the downturn in the economy is leading to an increased desire by some people to look skywards for assistance.

Of course, the sceptics may well pooh-pooh all this by saying that it just shows that more people are experiencing temporal lobe epilepsy, sleep paralysis and swamp gas emitted from the planet Venus.

Certainly, though, the authors are not quick to attribute the sightings to giant hairy clams from the planet Traxoot 5.

"Popular opinion to the contrary, there is no incontrovertible evidence that some UFO cases involve extraterrestrial contact," they say, adding that "the continued reporting of UFOs by the public and the yearly increase in numbers of UFO reports suggests a need for further examination of the phenomenon by social, medical and/or physical scientists".

While I'm certainly not going to rule out Project Blue Beam, I reckon the answer is pretty straightforward.

Word has simply spread across the Multiverse of just how good poutine is ever since Joey 'Jaws' Chestnut shoved 24 lbs (10.9 kg) of it down his gob in 10 minutes in Toronto this past October.

Well, I'd travel across time and space to get some.

Bloody great stuff and much better than the rocks and slime most aliens call food, that's for sure.


The full 2013 report can be read online here.

See also Poznan, Poland's UFO capital?, posted 10/7/13.

Sandi Toxic
was raised by wolves inside a disused clay pit near Lanjeth. You can befriend her on FaceBook here. She is still quite feral.

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