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NEWS & FORTEANA

Jack the Ripper named at last?

Swedish journalist puts forward a very convincing case indeed.

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Brexit, Cornwall and the future

By interwebular talking head Raven Akki

Raven Akki talks Brexit and Cornwall with St Austell and Newquay MP Steve Double.

Dunning-Krugerism hits Cornwall

By St Austell editor Turd Lemsip

Turd Lemsip reports on the New Age cult sweeping the South West.

Kids and their keyboards

By ghost writer Ghost Writer

The truth of revolution, brother.

Kudos to Knapp: Drongo on Skinwalker

By would-be fortean investigator Dr Victor Drongo

Dr Victor Drongo on the Skinwalker Ranch case that the great George Knapp first cracked wide open.

Warning: Big Brother loves your tats

By chief hack Ignatius Rake

EFF goes to court over an FBI-sponsored tattoo recognition system that has serious implications for personal freedom.

The smart person's guide to the future

By science & technology editor Suzi Quantreau

Want a sneak peek of the next big things to come in technology? Then have a watch of this.

All tips great and small

By R&H taxi columnist Sherbet Trotter

Some tips are a lot more welcome than others, writes Newquay taxi driver Sherbet Trotter.

Obsolete

By science & technology editor Suzi Quantreau

Think technology's marvellous? Watch this. You might think again.

Awesome

By chief hack Ignatius Rake

Check out this awesome article by the awesome Ignatius Rake about the awesome word awesome. It's, er, awesome.

Secrets of Cornwall: Communications

By global surveillance editor Nigella Skewjack

Watch this fascinating vid and the internet, not to mention Pentewan and Mevagissey, will never seem the same again.

Everything is connected

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Don't believe me? Watch this. It's pretty mind-blowing.

HP Lovecraft lands top council job

By St Austell editor Turd Lemsip

HP Lovecraft and JG Ballard to oversee St Austell's Meva Roundabout following recent spate of total twattishness. Turd Lemsip reports.

Coppers and cars

By R&H taxi columnist Sherbet Trotter

Newquay taxi driver Sherbet Trotter drops off some tasty tips on how to improve the police.

#MandrillMonday 23/10/17

By Mandrillus Sphinx and the R&H senior team

Baby mandrill bonanza continues with first baby mandrill born at Adelaide Zoo in six years.

Spam theft rocks Hawaii

By crime editor Dick Rampant

Hawaii rocked by Spam theft while Texas bloke nicks fajitas worth $1.2m.

Politics and oil

By R&H taxi columnist Sherbet Trotter

Newquay taxi driver Sherbet Trotter picks up a couple of right hot potatoes.

#MandrillMonday 9/10/17

By Mandrillus Sphinx and the R&H senior team

Check this out! Two new baby mandrills born at LA Zoo.

Nazis forced to rebrand

By business editor Randy Gutstick III

Nazis threaten legal action over 'rampant copyright infringement'.

#MandrillMonday 4/9/17

By Mandrillus Sphinx and the R&H senior team

You can't keep a good mandrill down…

Didn't he do well?

By culture editor DJ NRG Raver

The R&H doffs its cap to Bruce Forsyth, who departed for the Great Game Show in the Sky this past Friday (18/8/17).

Sex festival goes tits-up

By rag picker Reg Pecker

Man dead, woman unconscious at outdoor UK sex fest.

#MandrillMonday 14/8/17

By Mandrillus Sphinx and the R&H senior team

Get a load of these fantastic mandrills we've got lined up for you today!

Anti-bullshit protests escalate

By guest editor Amber Seree

BREAKING: Bullshit Distribution Centre violently attacked by anti-bullshit protestors.

#MandrillMonday 7/8/17

By Mandrillus Sphinx and the R&H senior team

It's mandrill Monday mania here, mate, and just check out these gorgeous mandrills we've got lined up for you today!

RIP Jim Marrs

By chief hack Ignatius Rake

The R&H pays tribute to journalist and author Jim Marrs, who died yesterday (2/8/17) aged 73.

Out cold in Buenos Aires

By pro skater Shanie O'Brien

If you're going to knock yourself out skateboarding, try doing it where the medics can reach you.

#MandrillMonday 31/7/17

By Mandrillus Sphinx and the R&H senior team

It's Monday and that means mandrills, flippin' thousands of 'em in fact!

Viral vid of the week

By eternal editor AC89

If you haven't seen it already, this will blow your mind!!!

You meet all sorts driving a cab

By R&H taxi columnist Sherbet Trotter

A nutter, a seadog and an OAP with road rage, Newquay taxi driver Sherbet Trotter recalls some his more memorable fares.

Cornish UFO riddle solved

By Sherlockian hack with a telephone Ignatius Rake

Major R&H investigation reveals true origins of strange object filmed over Cornwall last week.

#MandrillMonday 24/7/17

By R&H CEO JMH

Get your week off to the right start with the latest news and gossip from the Mandrill Kingdom. If it's about mandrills, we've got it covered!

Phwoar!

By Trepto Powers in Spain

This woman's body is unbelievable!

Mutant horse spotted in Cornwall

By Lizard Gizzard MP

Two-headed horse baffles country's top boffins.

Of miracles and meters

By R&H taxi columnist Sherbet Trotter

Newquay taxi driver Sherbet Trotter gets religion in the back of his cab.

How to gag the media

By Penus van Stool QC

#Lifehack

Bowie gone but Monkhouse lives

By culture editor DJ NRG Raver

Comedy legend Bob Monkhouse returns from grave, footage reveals.

The season of goodwill

By R&H taxi columnist Sherbet Trotter

A Christmas taxi tale from Newquay cab driver Sherbet Trotter.

#BillHicksDay 3

By chief hack Ignatius Rake

You are strongly advised to watch this.

#BillHicksDay 2

By chief hack Ignatius Rake

You are strongly advised to watch this.

#BillHicksDay

By chief hack Ignatius Rake

You are strongly advised to watch this.

Happy birthday, Bill!

By chief hack Ignatius Rake

The R&H pays homage to legendary comedian Bill Hicks, who was born 54 years ago today (16/12/15).

Hitler no match for Cornwall Council

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

It's 1945 and Hitler faces his biggest test yet... Cornwall Council's Planning Department.

Turd statue unveiled in St Austell

By St Austell editor Turd Lemsip

Cornish town celebrates restored civic pride with gigantic brass turd.

Cornish towbar perv hits Newquay

By rag picker Reg Pecker

Man bums towbar, Cornish teen left distraught.

And this is my son Generator

By rag picker Reg Pecker

Up the duff but not sure what to call your sprog? How about Generator?

Drunk monks v skate punks

By R&H taxi columnist Sherbet Trotter

Mullered monks scrapping with skaters? It's all in a day's work for Newquay taxi driver Sherbet Trotter.

Goodbye Google Glass, hello Vyclops

By R&H professor Mr Swellmons

Chinese tech firm launches revolutionary smart glasses.

What is all this Black Friday bollocks?

By pretender to the Swedish crown Lomgard Uttatoss

Pretender to the Swedish crown Lomgard Uttatoss ain't impressed by all this Black Friday bollocks.

Cornish super villains nicked

By rag picker Reg Pecker

St Austell master criminals gaoled for bizarre fake hostage ruse.

My mobile's in your cab!

By R&H taxi columnist Sherbet Trotter

Can't find your phone? It must be in that taxi you took.

An intern's diary

By unpaid work-experience monkey Terri Juggs

It's Terri's first day on the job and already things are getting hot and steamy.

Never too old

By Owen Jenkins

On the anniversary of the Armistice, the R&H remembers all who serve and have served on all sides regardless of time, place or politics.

On the stag in Newquay

By R&H taxi columnist Sherbet Trotter

It's not just well-mannered rocket scientists that have their stag weekends in Newquay, you know.

Why don't we swop jobs!

By R&H taxi columnist Sherbet Trotter

Running a taxi's a business not a charity.

Social media

By R&H rear fleet admiral David 'Papi' Duke

Papi Duke reports on social media, a movement in creating movements.

Jeeves and the M25

By R&H taxi columnist Sherbet Trotter

Newquay taxi driver Sherbert Trotter pays homage to the first man to circumnavigate the M25.

Global Economy: The China Syndrome

By official R&H reporter David 'Papi' Duke

Papi Duke gets to grips with the state of the world economy.

Big black beast stalks Cornish wood

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Phantom animal seen near St Austell, local councillor warns.

RIP Roddy Piper

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

The R&H pays homage to Roddy Piper, who died this past Thursday (30/7/15) aged 61.

Four lads from Liverpool

By R&H taxi columnist Sherbet Trotter

For a while, Newquay had a gay bar...

I've got money back in my caravan

By R&H taxi columnist Sherbet Trotter

Some passengers are not the sharpest tools in the box, but it's the taxi driver who still loses out.

Take me here, my man!

By R&H taxi columnist Sherbet Trotter

Pissheads are not the only problem for a taxi driver. Sober, upper-class types can be a pain in the arse as well.

Kebabs 'n' cabs

By R&H taxi columnist Sherbet Trotter

Dickheads with kebabs are all in a night's work when you're a Newquay taxi driver.

Push up champ dead!

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Northern Irish push up champ Hugo First karks it defending crown in Belfast Voicebox shocker.

The push up champ speaks

By local soak Marcus Keeley

Reigning champ Hugo First speaks to Marcus Keeley ahead of next week's Northern Ireland Push Up Championship.

Charlestown bogs sell for £115k

By rag picker Reg Pecker

The public khazis in 'St Austell's port' sold to former glamour model; 'redevelopment' to detriment of locals likely.

Watch me rot

By R&H reader Mr Swellmons

Dying Falmouth man to install webcam in coffin to let family watch body decompose online.

Golden Cow revisited

By local soak Marcus Keeley

Local soak Marcus Keeley's got a new job advertising butter, and we very much like the results.

Happy St Patrick's Day!

By chief hack Ignatius Rake

The R&H raises a glass to all our Irish readers and writers out there.

Hipsters shaved bare

By sociologist and subcultural butcher Gerome Godard

Sociologist and subcultural butcher Gerome Godard takes the knife to the hipster phenomenon.

RIP Terry Pratchett

By executive editor Wolfgang Bang

The R&H pays tribute to author Terry Pratchett, who died today (12/3/15) aged 66.

Demon's hellish nose job

By that bloke off On the Buses. Or was it Dad's Army?

Grown man has nose cut off to look like comic-book villain.

Horse-shaped UFO hits Mexico

By deputy chief hack Charles L'Amour

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Or is it a horse? Another anomalous object visits Mexico's volcanoes.

The boke of Belfast

By local soak Marcus Keeley

Marcus Keeley reports on the hippest new art craze to sweep the streets.

Cory Doctorow takes on DRM

EFF press release

Digital rights champion rejoins EFF to fight "pervasive use of dangerous" DRM technologies.

Pastyspotting

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Forget the horse. Colin Leggo's latest shockumentally uncovers the living hell that is pasty addiction.

Welcome to Legland

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Cornish filmmaker Colin Leggo turns his lens on the world of medicine in his latest cutting-edge exposé of life on the wards up Lunnun somewhere.

RIP Rik Mayall (continued)

By culture editor DJ NRG Raver

In a poignant missive, DJ NRG Raver pays homage to the late great Rik Mayall.

RIP Rik Mayall

By society editor Wolfgang Bang

The R&H pays tribute to comedian Rik Mayall, who died yesterday (9/6/14) aged 56.

Five years for Cornish slurry wanker

By rag picker Reg Pecker

Cornish cow pat perv banged up for death-threat reign of manure-based masturbatory terror.

Is there something in the water?

By local soak Marcus Keeley

Local soak Marcus Keeley reports from the streets of Belfast.

The horrors of St Austell

By Hollywood/St Austell correspondent Turd Lemsip

Flurry of Hollywood horror flicks to be filmed in creepy Cornish town.

The curious life of Bobby Fischer

By R&H reader Mr Swellmons

R&H reader Mr Swellmons of the West Midlands recounts the colourful story of Bobby Fischer, chess genius and fruitloop.

Travel with the Trebilcocks

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Colin Leggo and Jam First launch world's first Cornish-accent sat nav download.

Bob gives you slack

By religious affairs/football editor Reverend Marcus Trepanning

A timely reminder from the Reverend Marcus Trepanning...

Breaking Bad Cornish Edition

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Colin Leggo's latest documentary details the drama of one man's battle to save his beloved Cornwall from up-country trickery, greed and legal loopholes.

Cornwall poorer than Poland

By rag picker Reg Pecker

Former Celtic kingdom of Cornwall jointly named poorest part of UK; locals not surprised.

Planet Cornwall

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Cornish filmmaker Colin Leggo has turned his hand to natural history with a stunning new documentary.

You can't handle Redruth!

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

From Thatcher to Hanks to Churchill to Crowe, all of 'em were bleddy Cornish. And what's more, Colin Leggo's got the proof, see.

Five keys to crisis management

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

What should you do when it all goes wrong? Cue the Mexican Hockey League, Rocky the Crackoon and everyone's favourite civic leader Toronto mayor Rob Ford.

First Kiss Cornish Edition

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Cornish filmmaker Colin Leggo's back and this time the theme is love. Pasty love.

Canadians see three UFOs a day

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Last year saw the second highest number of UFOs reported in Canada, a new report reveals.

Die happy with Daniel Traips

By R&H reader Mr Swellmons

In a world exclusive, the R&H travels to the Catskills to meet Daniel Traips, the world's first death coach.

Media manipulation exposed

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

New video reveals media's rampant use of photo-manipulation software.

The Cornish Moon Landings

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Ere! T'is March 5 and what better way to celebrate St Piran's Day than with the latest vid from Cornish chronicler with a camera Colin Leggo…

Leslie Ash lips crisis worsens

By R&H reader Mr Swellmons

Armed men blockade airports on Leslie Ash's bottom lip; military action now likely.

The future of blogging

Is Jill Matthews

Welcome to the world of Jill Matthews.

Grand Theft Cornwall

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

The brutal reality of life in the former Celtic kingdom of Cornwall has been brought to the screens in a hard-hitting documentary by the man behind 'Cornish Is…' Viewer discretion advised.

Nicked for trolling herself

By rag picker Reg Pecker

Cornish beauty becomes first person nicked for trolling herself.

Mini Mozart dazzles Great Wen

By staff writer Stafford Wrighter

Nine-year-old nipper tinkles ivories in Ripley's but will he get whacked for revealing Masonic secrets?

St Austell welcomes careful drivers

By transport editor Turd Lemsip

The Cornish town of St Austell, recently recognised as the official centre of the Multiverse, has now won further praise for its tolerant road users.

Nazi plan for Poland thwarted

By culture editor DJ NRG Raver

Pub closures put kibosh on Hitler's plans for Poznań piss-up, rare footage reveals.

It's all kicking off in St Austell

By staff writer Stafford Wrighter

UFOs, furverts, rubbish robbers and stupid sniffers. There's never a dull moment in St Austell.

Vampire graves unearthed

By some bloke at Cor Blimey!

The graves of four alleged vampires have been found by road diggers in Poland.

Egg rolls for entry

By crime editor Dick Rampant

US immigration officer nicked for taking egg roll bribe.

¡El chupacabras capturado en la cinta!

By fortean editor Raven Akki

Or chupacabra caught on tape if you don't speak Spanish.

Chupacabra strikes in Russia

By some bloke at Cor Blimey!

Locals in a remote part of Russia are living in fear for their lives after a blood-sucking cryptozoological entity slaughtered a load of rabbits.

Cities beneath the sea

By fortean editor Raven Akki

Could the sunken Egyptian city of Heracleion hold a clue for the existence of Atlantis? You be the jury!

Fantasy football fact

By religious affairs/football editor Reverend Marcus Trepanning

This week it's David Icke versus Pope John Paul II.

Cornish Is...

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Coming from Cornwall, I know what it's like to be Cornish. But if you don't, watch this. It's flippin' ace!

UFOs, asteroids and earth lights

By fortean editor Raven Akki

Has anyone noticed all the mad stuff in the skies lately? Fortean editor Raven Akki has.

Alien scouts for pies in China

By fortean editor Raven Akki

Do aliens exist? Have they landed in China? And are they on the hunt for some decent pies? You be the jury!

The Hollow Earth revisited

By fortean editor Raven Akki

It's kinda spherical and got a hard crust but could the Earth actually be as hollow as Ollie Reed's legs with openings at both the North and South Poles?

Black pudding chucker charged

By crime editor Dick Rampant

A 47-year-old man has appeared in a Scottish court charged with aggressively throwing a black pudding.

Exorcists surge in Poland

By exorcist expert Daryl Terr'd

The past two decades have witnessed a surge in the number of exorcists and exorcisms in Poland. Daryl Terr'd reports.

Shampoo? Shove it up yer jinker!

By deputy chief hack Charles L'Amour

Why spunk quids on poncey hair care products when you can burn some paper instead?

Bang's bastard beards

By society editor Wolfgang Bang

Thanks to acid jazz, nu metal and the constant dumbing down of society, ridiculous facial hair is sprouting out all over the place.

Fashion needs dictionaries

By fashion editor Kok Wang

Hong Kong's where it's at if you want to see some proper fashion statements. They just might not make that much sense.

A pony to win

By racing editor Pesco Greko

Watch their heads and follow your gut, says racing editor Pesco Greko.

Racing's resilience

By racing editor Pesco Greko

The sport of kings has so far remained largely immune to the onslaught of commercialisation even if you can buy Frankie Dettori's frozen pizzas in Tesco's.

A skate punk's lament

By society editor Wolfgang Bang

Once the preserve of the outcast, skateboarding has increasingly become yet another fashion tool with which to prise cash from the wallets of the gullible.

Toxic Tush fingered by fuzz

By crime editor Dick Rampant

US cops have nicked a cross-dressing fake nurse with an unfeasibly large arse and a misspelt nickname for killing a woman by injecting her with Super Glue and cement.

Fire in the hole!

By crime editor Dick Rampant

An Aussie man may face a fine for sticking a firework up his crack.

There goes the neighbourhood

By society editor Wolfgang Bang

Not content with ripping the heart out of London's Notting Hill, millionaire luvvie Richard Curtis has now begun filming another sack full of shite in Cornwall.

How press releases work

By chief hack Ignatius Rake

You can trust the news because it's independently researched, right?

Brave new creed

By philosophy editor Lee Full-Chamber

Religions come and go but is a new one currently emerging in the name of saving the planet?

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