Adverts, innum?
dick rampant


Fancy a trip to the Falklands?

By roving hack Ignatius Rake

Posted March 08, 2013
east falkland Sheep Farming in the Falklands
Worth a look: The Falkland Islands yesterday. (Check bottom for credit)<

Nestling in the South Atlantic just 500 km or so from Tierra del Fuego, the Falklands are ideal for a stag do or honeymoon. Particularly if you like penguins.

What with renewed sabre-rattling between the UK and Argentina over whether the Falkland Islands should be the Falklands or Las Malvinas, there has arguably never been a better time to visit this remote British Overseas Territory other than April 2, 1982 when the Argentines invaded, especially with Argentina calling the upcoming March 10-11 referendum on the islanders' sovereignty a legally groundless publicity stunt.

So, if you've got a spare £6,050 kicking about, why not give polar travel specialists Quark Expeditions a call and book a 17- or 23-day visit on one of their ships?

According to a press release we've just received, the Falklands "were named one of the New York Times' Top 46 Places to Go in 2013", along with that total rob-dog shit hole Istanbul, where this particular hack narrowly escaped an unwanted dry bumming off a maniac taxi driver who reckoned I looked like a brassiere.

Go figure.

Anyway, the Falklands archipelago, the press release continues, "consists of East and West Falkland, divided by Falkland Sound, and is of great interest for birdwatchers".

"Thanks to the rich surrounding seas, the Falklands boast no less than six breeding species of penguins: king, gentoo, rockhopper, and on occasion macaroni, royal and magellanic."

"With such an array of flora and fauna in the Falklands, Quark's team of lecturers and specialists have much to provide in terms of enriching discussions on the history and fascinating wildlife of this island [sic]."

"Passengers will be able to explore Port Stanley, a village of 2,000 residents, including grabbing a pint at the local pub, or visiting numerous churches and museums."

While the press release makes no mention of checking out the 100 or so minefields that still litter the islands as a deadly reminder of the 10-week war, we're sure that if you ask someone nicely enough they're bound to let you have a game of cricket on one so don't forget to take your bat, ball and stumps with you.

What's more, "as an added value, passengers who make reservations by April 30, 2013, will receive up to 25% off select Falklands, South Georgia and Antarctica voyages, including a 19-day Epic Antarctica trip that also crosses the Antarctic Circle, and a 22-day Explorers and Kings trip that departs from Buenos Aires and features a floating Polar film Festival programmed by Hot Docs", whoever they are.

So get on the blower and speak to Quark Expeditions on +1 888 892 0073 or +1 203 803 2666 today!

Actually, we'd be well up for a visit, so while you're at it remember to book us a place as well.

First class accommodation only, mind.

Plus, any oil reserves you find out there belong to us, OK?

And just to get you in the mood for your trip, here's Crass with their Number One smash hit single Sheep Farming in the Falklands that we've embedded from MrJabladk's YouTube channel.

Get on!


It appears that the majority of people living in the Falklands want to remain British.

However, the vote was surprisingly close.

Of the 1,672 islanders eligible to participate, 1,517 voted to stay British while three didn't.

Bet they're popular down the pub.

For more info, have a click of this.

Picture credit

Top and thumb: Teal Inlet on East Falkland by Apcbg.

For licensing information click the above link.

(Referendum update 12/3/13).

Share this story, yeah?


Voicebox the movie

quality footage of October's Voicebox Comedy night in Belfast

Feast your eyes, ears and brain on this quality vid of October's Voicebox Comedy night in Belfast.

Happy Easter from the R&H!

Happy Easter from the R&H!

The R&H returns from its Christmas break just in time for another holiday.

Hotel name of the month

the vergina hotel in thessaloniki greece

Need a room in Thessaloniki? Try up the Vergina.