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Virtual Trouser knows the score

By culture editor DJ NRG Raver

Posted June 07, 2012
come to milton keynes
Come to Milton Keynes: Ray Keith and Ellis D did. (Check bottom for credits)

Big fish, little fish, cardboard box. Yep, that's right, it's time to get your whistles out as Virtual Trouser goes old skool raving.

"Do you know what time it is?" roars MC Magika from Birmingham Town.

Well, thanks to interweb video sites and the Virtual Trouser time machine, it's about five o'clock in the morning on May 30, 1992 as we touch down at the Dreamscape 4 (Proof of the Pudding) rave at Denbigh Leisure Centre in Milton Keynes, UK.

After our dabble with the KLF and their art-pop stadium house on our last outing, this time we go the whole hog with two classic hardcore sets from our guest DJs Ray Keith and Ellis D, hitherto known only to the mixtape generation but now available on YouTube for all to behold.

First it's Ray Keith who sends the sweating, seething, mostly Gary Ablett-munching crowd into a state of gurning, eye-bulging euphoria as he opens up with Nookie's piano anthem Give a Little Love (The More Love Remix) and Rhythm Section's Perfect Love 2am.

After a quick blast of Can U Feel It by Elevation, he finds the energy with the lovely-jubbly Ephemerol by Tic Tac Toe and Express Yourself by Family Foundation.

Following that clonker comes Bass Shake by Urban Shakedown, Fake Lobsters by Justice & Mercy, Tronic Equator by Chemical Company and Come On by DJ Seduction.

Then, the Essex Bad Boy really puts the boot in with The Lover by the Turk ("coming at you like a f---ing avalanche"), before cutting straight into the rude bit in Helter Skelter's Earthquake (Distruction Mix).

And as the stilt-walking robots go mental in the house, he finishes off with his own bassline bumper, Tapes (Mix 3).

carl cox
Smiles all round: Carl Cox. (Check bottom for credits)

All that should have you buzzing like a buzzard and whizzing like a wizard, but to really get the atmosphere watch some of YouTube's old-skool rave videos.

Highly recommended are the visit of late-night TV's The Hitman and Her to the Eclipse in Coventry (in six parts with sets by Carl Cox and DJ Phantasy) and the Elevation 2nd Birthday Party, which starts off with Fabio playing Demon's Theme by LTJ Bukem and NHS (Disco Mix) by Doc Scott.

Back at Dreamscape, and it's Ellis D (geddit?) making the whistle possee come alive.

Top tunes dropped include Dreamworld by his own group, Rhythm Section (also check out Emotion, Comin' On Strong and Nu Generation), Some Justice (Concrete Jungle Mix) by Urban Shakedown featuring Mickey Finn, Hyperactive by Sub Love and Dave Charlesworth's mad-as-a-box-of-frogs mash-up Energizer 2A.

And so, till next time, with the sounds of E.Kude's Never Let Go ringing in your ears and the smell of Vick's in your nostrils, put your hands in the air, reach for the laser and rush to the bass.

You nutter!

And just to make that a little easier for you, here, taken from mid1990s' YouTube channel, is the very same Never Let Go, which is also pretty good advice if you ever find yourself dangling by a rope from a helicopter. Safe.

The original version of this article first appeared in Point Blank Poznan. Cheers, Steg. I'll send Kenny round with a sack of clams later.

See also Virtual Trouser burns a million quid, posted 12/4/12.

Picture credits

Top and thumbnail: Illustration by Ignatius Rake using original images by Robbrown; Mr Biz; and Bogdan.

Bottom: Original image by Str1ke; rejigged by Ignatius Rake.

For licensing information click the above links.

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