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MUSIC & THE ARTS

Stranglehead at the Sweden Project

By St Austell editor Turd Lemsip

Posted July 27, 2015
stranglers and motorhead live at the eden project in cornwall
Rattus Norvegicus: The Stranglers live in Cornwall. © Turd Lemsip

Turd Lemsip reviews Motörhead and the Stranglers live at the Eden Project in Cornwall.


The home of flat-pack platitudes and carbon-footprint fallen arches finally had a decent double headliner in the form of Motörhead and the Stranglers just days after having the Barbara Cartland of dreary balladeering, Reginald Dwight, delight cloth-eared basket cases eager to part with 70 knicker ($109) to hear tear-stained guff about wind and candles.

Slow ticket sales were probably exacerbated by the Hugh Cornwell effect, as in it won't be the same without him so I can't be arsed to go.


GNARLY OLD GRUNTER
Having the gnarly old grunter Lemmy and his popular beat combo headline certainly made a difference and judging by the amount of Hawkwind T-shirts on display, I'd say over a quarter of punters had hedged their bets and liked both.

It already had a whiff of old-style mania about it when the Right Reverend Dr Marcus Trepanning informed me that a distraught/pissed-up/suicidal punter had pitched himself headfirst off the ticket office, earning himself a coma and brain surgery at Derriford Hospital.


stranglers fan
Stick it up yer bollocks! A Stranglers fan shares her thoughts on the support. © Turd Lemsip


SHAME ABOUT THE SUPPORT
First on the bill was the local support act Urge for Offal, also known as King Creature1.

A triumph for helicopter parenting, trust funds, poor choices in drugs, clusterfucking and the last Pantera track they all liked, Urge for Offal provided a generic blast of the greatest provincial meh-tal and will surely require therapy after the bubble bursts and all their friends grow up.

Alright if you're a kerrangutan but if you go to the source it's still Motörhead and GBH.

It provided a fitting soundtrack to the meandering paths and bushes that wind through the uphill gardens of Sweden.

And it was a great relief that they had finished by the time I reached the stage.


the stranglers steal the show
Crowd pleaser: The Stranglers work their magic. © Turd Lemsip


TOP-NOTCH JOB
The Stranglers really were good.

They sounded crisp; frontman Baz fits the bill perfectly; JJ looks happy and grins about; Dave cheerily serves up the usual dexterity on the keyboards; and despite not making an appearance, Jet Black's replacement Jim knocks the skins just right.

Everyone in the audience got very pleased by this.

They really do a top-notch job and sporadic dancing breaks out.

A good set follows with new songs like Norfolk Coast taking on a quality that does the old hair-on-end trick that good music should produce.

I'm off to see them again in a couple of months in a real venue.


motorhead on stage
But are their beans out of date? Motörhead take the stage. © Turd Lemsip


ZIMMER FRAME
Motörhead.

I know.

It's Lemmy.

I know.

Legend.

The yanks hail him as a hero and won't stop fucking banging on about him.

They played Glastonbury the night before (26/6/15) and have been on a ridiculous tour, crossing three time zones in one week.

And it shows.

He's got nothing but playing live to sustain him.

Diabetes and imbibing stupid amounts of Jack Daniels, fags2 and speed for years will take its toll.

It's a given that for the 1% chance you have of being Lemmy and surviving, the odds of being dead or a brain-damaged vegetable are more likely.

And boy, does it show.

I don't think he can physically play some of the licks and the drummer and guitarist cover up his inability with some quick rolls and squealing.

They sound muddy, the drums are too prominent, his voice weak.

We enjoy it but we know it's a decline, a rock and roll Zimmer frame bumping against time's skirting board.

"I don't think I'll be seeing them again," says a voice sadly, "and I don't think Lemmy's got long left."

Perhaps he should lay off the muesli a bit.


Chief hack's note: Turd filed this story shortly after the gig at the Eden Project, near St Austell, this past June 27. However, I've only just now got around to running it due to the booze. Sorry, Turd. Anyway, to make up for it, here's the Stranglers doing Hanging Around at Eden followed by Motörhead playing Over the Top, both of which are embedded here on the tune-tastic Rake & Herald from dare62's YouTube channel, which you can check out here.










See also Something Better Change, posted 4/6/14, and The horrors of St Austell, posted 27/5/14.


Turd Lemsip
is the former frontman with anarcho-punk combo Chernobyl Effect, a band described by The Times of India as "so underground that they had no records released, played no gigs, had no songs and existed only in the warped mind of its idiot pseudo frontman". Turd lives in St Austell, where he works as a toilet cleaner when not smashing the state. His favourite colour is "dog shit".


Footnotes

1) King Creature. What can I say? Well, to start with, [removed on legal advice]. King Crap more like.

2) Or cigarettes if you're an American.




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