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Xanadu eats to the beat

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Posted December 02, 2013
xanadu with her luck 7 cheque
Xanadu picks up the cheque: Her winner's cheque, that is. © China Blue Restaurant probably

What would life be without music and gurgitation? Bloody shit, that's what. So come tap your toes as Stephanie 'Xanadu' Torres rams 7 lbs of chicken down her gob.

As Shakespeare (or Francis Bacon) kind of almost said, "If music be the food of gurgitation, play on."

And on that note (get the pun?), we here at the Rake & Herald recently came across a great little vid from the Big Eaters Club (BEC) in which Stephanie 'Xanadu' Torres takes on the Lucky Sevens Challenge at the China Blue Restaurant in Corvallis, Oregon.

Weirdly enough, considering its name, this belly-busting snack consists of seven different types of spicy chicken tenders with a combined weight of 7 lbs (3.2 kg).

Needing to be completed within one hour without help nor reversing, it is, in the words of the BEC's video description, "a mastication marathon that only the best can hope to win".

To date, as far as we can work out, it's been slain by both Rake & Herald competitive eating editor Naader 'Freak8r' Reda, who completed it in 46 minutes, and Jamie 'the Bear' McDonald, who scoffed the lot in a brain-frying 16 minutes 57.

While Xanadu was unable to beat the Bear's time, she nonetheless cleared her plate in under 35 minutes, making her not only the Rake & Herald's all-time favourite hat wearer, but also the first female food fighter to beat the bastard, something that earned her a cheque for, er, we're not too sure, but as the challenge apparently has a rolling jackpot we hope it was a couple of million quid at least.

"This pint-sized pro never stops and has an asbestos-coated mouth to boot," the BEC state, adding that viewers should note "the copious amounts" of Sriracha sauce she applied while necking it all down.

"Absolutely amazing," they conclude.

And we wholeheartedly concur.

But what about that music1?

It's well whappy and fits the scarfing perfectly.

And if you don't believe me, here's the proof:

But from an eating vid with some ace music, we now turn to a music vid with some ace eating.

Yep, while having a scoot round Drenge's website t'other day, we found a link to this ravioli-stuffing promo from the charmingly named F--kshovel, who describe themselves on Twitter as "a nice little band from South East London" and who we reckon should do a gig or two with Japan's Skull F--k Revolvers.

Hell, imagine the posters.

They could call it 'F--kfest' and get Touretteshero to emcee.


Anyway, give it a butcher's.

It's a classic.

Not quite Joey Chestnut dancing down the dogs but it made me larf anyway.

Go on.

Give it a whirl.

And on the subject of ravioli, here's Freak8r gourmandising a 6.75-lb tin of the stuff in under 9 minutes.

I'm telling ya, he's f--king ace.

But does he get it all down his shirt like the bloke in the F--kshovel vid?

Have a watch and find out yourself, why dontcha?

But don't go thinking Freak8r is the first person to shove a shedload of saucy Italian meat parcels down his north.

After all, the vid in question is a response to a challenge from toodudesreview that resulted in a 1-lb reversal.

Before even that, though, there was Reginald Iolanthe Perrin.

Take it away, Reggie...

The above vids are embedded from the respective YouTube channels of the BEC, Dave Virago, Freak8r and eOne Home Video, which you can check out here, here, here and here. Meanwhile, to watch Freak8r and the Bear devouring the Lucky Sevens Challenge, have a click of this and this.

See also Happy Thanksgiving!, posted 21/11/13, and Virtual Trouser tramps to Drenge, posted 12/8/13.


1) The tune used in the BEC Xanadu vid is Feelin Good by Kevin MacLeod, a "super-peppy mindless strumming feel-good sort of piece" that you can download here should you feel so inclined.

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