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To the victors, the burgers!

By competitive eating editor Naader 'Freak8r' Reda

Posted October 18, 2012
lumpy's burgers Freak8r wins
Lumpy's burgers are go! Freak8r powers to victory in Antioch. © Naader Reda

The Rake & Herald's very own Naader 'Freak8r' Reda has won the annual burger bolting bash at Lumpy's Diner in Antioch, California. Here's his exclusive report.

October 13, 2012 is a day (actually night) that will live on in infamy.

I won a burger battle royale by eating 10 large burgers in 12 minutes.

It's not often that I win a contest, so such a win is special.

My closest opposition was a good friend, a man I consider a mentor in the ways of competitive eating since my start in the sport.

Kevin Ross ate 8.5 burgers to take silver.1

Honestly, I hadn't expected to win but winning felt good.

It's something I gotta do more often.

People – like history – pay attention to winners.

The Allies, democracy and compact discs get notice.

Whoever heard of the Soviet Union?

Records – what are those?

I know which side of the ledger I want to be on... the one opposite clear Pepsi, mounted cavalry and the abacus.

I'm going to my next eating contest in a tank, dammit.

And if I don't win, well, I'll just plot to come back another day.

Winning isn't everything, but come on – how cool is it to call yourself the champ?

My students sure wouldn't want to listen to a loser all day.

The burgers were a tad dry, but scrumptious.

Definitely a meal worth eating.

I'll be back next year.

(In a tank, we hope - Chief Hack)

Watch more gurgitatory glory at Freak8r's YouTube channel here.

Well, Freak8r had better buy that tank pretty quickly because this coming Saturday (20/10/12), in his capacity as All Pro Eating's (APE) number 1 world ranked eating challenger, he will be in Noi Yoik to set a new 25-minute world record for pumpkin pie eating.

But that's not all.

The following day, he'll be taking on the likes of Jamie 'the Bear' McDonald, 'Furious' Pete Czerwinski and Stephanie 'Xanadu' Torres among others at the Great Pumpkin Farm 2012 World Hands-Free Pumpkin Pie Eating Championship in Clarence, Noi Yoik.

What's more, the APE-sanctioned event looks set to be a right stonker, with APE chairman Todd Greenwald exclusively telling the Rake & Herald by email that he "fully [expects] a new record to be established".

At present, the total to beat stands at 27 slices gulletised by last year's winner Eric 'Silo' Dahl.

Whatever happens this Sunday, though, expect it to be a bit messy.

In fact, if you're taking part, a change of T-shirt and a towel might be in order.

No idea what kind of hat Xanadu will be wearing but we advise against a cap with a peak.

To find out more about this pie-tastic pumpkin chowdown, have a click of this.

See also Hanging with the Bear, posted 6/10/12.

Naader 'Freak8r' Reda
is a California-based competitive eater with a pedigree as long as a docker's tea break. In 2011, in addition to competing in numerous contests and championships, he set himself the gargantuan goal of taking on 100 eating challenges across North America. He won 97. In recognition of this, All Pro Eating crowned him the World's Top Food Challenger. The man can eat. But more than that, he can also write. As such, the Rake & Herald is truly honoured to also crown him the World's Top Competitive Eating Editor. The dude's a dude, dude. And if you're still not convinced, get a load of this. In addition to being a phenomenal gurgitator, Freak8r also teaches history to high school students. We reckon his lessons must be ace.


1) According to Eat Feats, James Conan 'The BurgerBarian' Gouig placed third, although we're not sure how many burgers he boshed.

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