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The glutton's workout

By health and fitness editor Neil 'Glutton Number One' Thomas

Posted April 12, 2013
Neil 'Glutton Number One' Thomas
Gut of glory: Glutton Number One, our new health and fitness editor. © Neil Thomas

In his debut article, Ireland's leading gurgitator Neil 'Glutton Number One' Thomas shows you how to achieve the perfect winning body.

Hey, this is Neil, Ireland's number one competitive eater.

A former fitness instructor, I've traded in the gym for the buffet.

And I've never been bigger!

My new fitness regime consists of four sets of lying around doing nothing; four sets of sleeping; and three sets of sitting on the couch.

Workout complete.

But I still eat like a body builder, except every meal is a cheat meal.

There's literally no type of food I won't eat and that's what makes me such an amazing eatlete.

Taking inspiration from such world-renowned gluttons as Joey 'Jaws' Chestnut, Patrick 'Deep Dish' Bertoletti and Takeru 'the Tsunami' Kobayashi, I aim to expand the sport of gurgitation here in the Emerald Isle just as sure as my waistline.

Just as I've become a weapon of mass consumption thanks to tips and advice from the American champions, I've now converted many of my fellow countrymen to the sport of gluttony.

When we visit all-you-can-eat buffets we go with one intention – to shut the place down!

If we don't leave with distended stomachs and having witnessed at least one reversal then it's usually a disappointment.

Just remember, a competitive eater's belly is his trophy.

And I've won gold!

Neil 'Glutton Number One' Thomas is Ireland's undisputed number one gurgitator. He is also president-for-life of the Irish Competitive Eating Association (ICEA), which you can both follow and join on FaceBook. We are truly honoured to be able to share his health and fitness advice with the readers of the Rake & Herald, Europe's number one competitive eating website.

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