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The future of bodybuilding

By health and fitness editor Neil 'Glutton Number One' Thomas

Posted May 17, 2013
Ireland's leading competitive eater
No pain, no gain: Working out with eggs can be a messy business. © Neil Thomas

Looking to add some serious body mass? Gaelic gurgitator Neil 'Glutton Number One' Thomas has the answer.

If the definition of bodybuilding is to accumulate mass on one's body, to bulk, build and expand, then it's safe to say that I am indeed a bodybuilder.

In fact, I like to think of myself and those like me as 'alternative' body builders.

A muscular pal of mine lifts so big that he's developed stretch marks on his biceps.

I eat so big that I've developed stretch marks on my gut.

The parallels are undeniable.

There's something very empowering and masculine in being the biggest, heaviest guy in the room.

That's why I recommend alternative bodybuilding to everyone.

A natural way to begin is through competitive eating.

It's a well-known fact that bodybuilders need more protein than the average Joe.

When I did my fried egg challenge, I consumed 25 large fried eggs in under 20 minutes.

That was 3,765 calories and nearly 200 g of protein.

Through contests like this, you'll go a long way towards ensuring that your body will start to expand at a rapid rate, particularly around the waist.

But eventually, through persistent eating, you'll notice growth all over your body.

The most attractive thing about this programme, to a sloth such as myself at least, is that the only time you'll really sweat is when you get the meat sweats after a sausage eating contest.

The only type of DOMs (delayed onset muscle soreness) you'll have to deal with will be in your jaw after a hard feed.

And all that grunting that goes on at the gym, lifting those 300 lb (136 kg) dumbbells?

You'll only ever grunt trying to finish that seventh plate of pasta at the all-you-can-eat buffet.

If you're not sold on alternative bodybuilding by now then you lack the sheer will and stamina to be a champion like me.

Eat big or go home!

See also The glutton's workout, posted 12/4/13.

Neil 'Glutton Number One' Thomas
is Ireland's undisputed number one gurgitator. He is also president-for-life of the Irish Competitive Eating Association (ICEA), which you can both follow and join on FaceBook. We are truly honoured to be able to share his health and fitness advice with the readers of the Rake & Herald, Europe's number one competitive eating website.

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