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Roasting in the sun

By culture editor DJ NRG Raver

Posted August 05, 2012
British roast beef, spuds and yorkshire pudding in sunny Spain
Cracking grub: You can't beat a good roast. © DJ NRG Raver

The water in Majorca don't taste like what it oughta, but the Roast Beef and Yorkshire Pud tastes exactly how it should.

There is one corner of a Spanish island that is forever Britain – and that place is the resort of Magaluf, just a short, scenic bus ride down the coast from the capital of the Balearic Islands, Palma de Mallorca.

In addition to over a hundred pubs and clubs, this last little outpost of Empire is home to a dazzling array of eateries punting out all your favourite treats from back home.

And flying the flag at the vanguard of this culinary Spithead Review1 are the amiable Berni and Paul from Yorkshire, who together run Berni's Bar.

Conveniently located at the bottom of the hill near both the bus stop and Bollock's Bar (lager €1 (79p) a pint), Berni's proudly boasts the best roast dinner in Magaluf.

Having not tried them all, I can't say for sure that this is true, but it would have to be a very special platter indeed to better the one presented to yours truly.

Four thick slices of succulent roast beef, five perfectly-cooked golden-brown roast potatoes and a superb Yorkshire Pudding were served up together with piles of boiled carrots, green beans and peas – all topped off with lashings of thick, rich 'proper' gravy.

All this for just €6.95, plus another €2 for a pint of Fosters to wash it down with.

A roast to write home about for sure!

However, if it's more traditional seaside fare that you fancy, Berni and Paul have got that base covered too, as they have their very own fish and chip shop next door.

Although there are plenty of other places selling fish'n'chips and deep-fried meat treats (such as The Chippy next to the Three Lions Pub on the Strip), Berni's claims to be the only genuine old-style British chip shop in Magaluf (there used to be five, apparently).

Alongside real British fish, sausages in batter and lard-cooked chips plus curry sauce and mushy peas, there's also a full range of Pukka Pies.

Result City!

the chippy, Magaluf by night
Chips on the Strip: Magaluf's got it made. © DJ NRG Raver

But that's just the start.

Along the beachfront lies the Happy House, another top place for expat home cooking.

Their full and varied menu boasts pretty much anything you might yearn for – again at very good prices – starting with a full English breakfast for €3.25 through to giant Yorkshire puddings filled with meat, mash, veg and gravy for €6.95.

Then, to wet your whistle, you can get a cup of tea with British milk and biscuits for €1 or a pint of Becks lager for €1.50.

And in the event that you get peckish after your Club 18-30-style pub crawl but you've been ruled out of getting a kebab for being too fat2, you can always raid The Upper Crust towards the bottom of the Strip.

Their selection of pies and pastry snacks, including perfectly acceptable English 'Cornish' pasties3 and pretty decent peppered steak slices at €3 a pop, may not be the same as a load of shavings off a greasy elephant's foot but you're still guaranteed a well tasty consolation prize.


¡Viva España!

See also Virtual Trouser tramps to Drenge, posted 12/8/13.


1) The Spithead Review is a royal review of the UK naval fleet that takes place once in a blue moon at Spithead near Portsmouth. Have a read of this to find out why there wasn't one this year to mark that jubilee thing. I'll give you a clue: "It would have been just too embarrassing".

2) According to a pub crawl DJ/MC I heard in Alex Pub: "If you don't get laid tonight, you're too fat for a kebab."

3) Viz English imitations as opposed to proper job Cornish pasties like the ones you'd get down Philps in Hayle, for example.

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