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Pizza fries arise!

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Posted August 12, 2013
tracy mmm mmm goode makes and eats pizza fries
Be warned: The effects of pizza fries can be lasting. © Tracy Goode

You've read the recipe. Now watch Tracy 'Mmm Mmm' Goode cook up a load of pizza fries then scarf 'em with his fingers.

Once in every million lifetimes, a culinary invention comes along that changes the very vibrational fabric of the Multiverse itself.

Cornish pasties.

Pot Noodles.

Super peas.

The double-ended dildo pie.

Now a new name has been etched upon the ledgers of the Pantheon of Gustatory Greats.

Pizza fries.

But such is the immense magnitude of this wondrous concoction begat of manna mixed with ambrosia that not one mere mortal alone could possibly transmogrify its nascent thought form into matter.

Thus it was written at the beginning of time that only when mankind had attained sufficient virtue would two of the righteous bring forth its solemn majesty.

These two giants before whom all shall quake were chosen by the trumpet and the thunder and thus they did duly step forward into the light, their swords of fire risen aloft such that their names be indelibly inked upon the hearts and souls of all who laid eyes or tooth upon the fruit of their creation.

And lo!

For it was good.

Their names, as they were to become championed among the realms of man and woman, fish and beast and stone alike, were he who does answer the call as Tracy 'Mmm Mmm' Goode, emboldened gurgitatory gladiator of Major League Eating, upholder of the word and the truth of the Rutles and reportatory scribe unto the nations in the service of the Rake & Herald; and he who does answer the call as Ross Edgington, percussionary rhythmical underpinner of the Birminghamian crusaders of the musicianship that is rockular in character, form and sound, they who march beneath the banner of the Crimson Star.

But hark!

For here upon you now befalls in a dance of light and sound the very beauty of this perfected pabulum plucked from the ether and stilled to the physical, this epitome of epicurean enlightenment and grace, for its secrets have been revealed in film, notarised in celluloid, a master's work becoming of Chabrol, Truffaut, Lynch or Dover.

From manifestation to engorgement, bask now in the shining of its triumph.

Bow and be awed.


It is time to keep your appointment with the pizza fries.

The above video has been embedded from Mmm Mmm's YouTube channel, which we strongly urge you to check out right this minute. Mmm Mmm's a dude. And big cheers for the plug, sir! Meanwhile, to follow Mmm Mmm and the Crimson Star on Twitter click this and this, respectively. We can't seem to find a Book of Face page for the Crimson Star, but to visit Mmm Mmm's, whack your cursor here then give it click, innit? Wicked!

See also Pizza fries!, posted 2/6/13, and Mmm Mmm creates again!, posted 24/6/13.

This article was first posted on the old R&H 30/7/13

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