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EATING & DRINKING

Megatoad barks at Chestnut's heels

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Posted August 30, 2012
ribs chestnut beats megatoad and deep dish
Ribs: Reckon you could eat eight pounds of 'em? (Check bottom for credit)

Joey 'Jaws' Chestnut has won the Seventh Annual Nugget World Rib Eating Championship in Nevada, with Matt 'Megatoad' Stonie coming in close behind.


Twenty-eight-year-old Joey 'Jaws' Chestnut, who apparently earned himself more than $73,000 from competitive eating last year1, is now $2,500 richer thanks to wolfing down 8 lbs (3.6 kg) of ribs in 12 minutes in some big flash hotel-cum-casino jobbie in Reno/Sparks, Nevada, US of A yesterday.

Not only did Jaws retain the title he has held every year since the competition's inception with the exception of 2009, but he also upped his pig costa gurgitation count by almost 5.3% compared to the 7.6 lbs of ribs he rammed down his trap 12 months ago.

Also bringing vertical to his gullet runway going forward was 20-year-old Matt 'Megatoad' Stonie, who left the pork-bone podium with an extra $1,000 to his name after ratcheting up his rib tally by 18.1% over the same period, from 6.35 lbs to 7.5 lbs, to land him the silver number two spot.

In achieving this, Megatoad leapfrogged Patrick 'Deep Dish' Bertoletti, the 2009 title-holder whose rib dispatchment this year dropped 12.1%, from 6.6 lbs to 5.8 lbs.

While Deep Dish may well be a tad disappointed with this showing, it was nonetheless more than enough to win him the third-place prize of $750, ahead of Michelle 'Cardboard Shell' Lesco, who slammed some 4.6 lbs of ribs down her gob to pocket $500 for coming fourth.

According to a Major League Eating (MLE) Twitter tweet thing, a post-match Megatoad was overheard in a lift telling an equally post-match Jaws: "I'll get you one day."

Jaws apparently replied: "No you won't."

Exactly what theses two horsemen of the oesophagus were referring to has yet to be established, although it could have been something to do with off-ground tig, British bulldog or conkers.

"I reckon they were probably talking about competitive eating," says Rake & Herald fashion editor, London cabbie and self-appointed competitive eating pundit Kok Wang, who last week blackmailed his way out of doing bird for shooting crime editor Dick Rampant in the arm with an illegal handgun2.

"I've still got the gun and I still stand by what I said before plugging Rampant: I love Chestnut but my money's on Megatoad."

"Give it a year or two and it'll be Chestnut trying to pinch Stonie's crown."

"You mark my words."

"And what's more, I'll drop anyone in this office who says different."

"That said, I'd still like to see Deep Dish landing the laurels a bit more often."

"Not only is he an expert eater and showman but he also strikes me as an all-round top bloke."

"In fact, if he ever got in my cab, I wouldn't even diddle the meter."

"Well, not as much as usual, anyway."


RIB RESULTS REVEALED
Given that we were a good 5,000 miles away from the action when the chompers got chomping, we never actually got to record the results ourselves.

However, thanks to some major league tweeting plus some pre-event info we found on the MLE website, we reckon the results and prizes went something like this:

1) Joey 'Jaws' Chestnut; 8lbs ($2,500)

2) Matt 'Megatoad' Stone; 7.5 lbs ($1,000)

3) Patrick 'Deep Dish' Bertoletti; 5.8 lbs ($750)

4) Michelle 'Cardboard Shell' Lesco; 4.6 lbs ($500)

5) Juan 'More Bite' Rodriguez; 4.5 lbs ($250)

6) Steve 'Probably Not the Scottish Snooker Player But Perhaps It Is' Hendry; 4 lbs

7) Erik 'the Red' Denmark; 3.7 lbs

8) Allen Tripplett; 3.1 lbs

9) Jason Erb; 2.6 lbs

10=) David Solomon; 2.5 lbs

10=) Matthew Raible; 2.5 lbs

12) Drake 'Surely He's Got a Maritime-Themed Nickname and If He Hasn't He Would Have If He Lived In Plymouth' Nelson; 2 lbs

13) Michael Norton; 1.8 lbs


Admittedly some of those results might be wrong.

In which case, tough tits.

We can confirm, though, that at some point yesterday Jaws wore a yellow T-shirt and some shorts.

We can also confirm that the 12-minute gobathon was staged at John Ascuaga's Nugget Casino/Resort as part of the 24th Annual Best in the West Nugget Rib Cook-Off .

According to MLE, this six-day rib fest is expected to attract "500,000 hungry BBQ-lovers" who in turn "will consume more than 100 tons [90.7 tonnes] of ribs over the extended Labor [Labour] Day weekend".

Whatever happens, we certainly hope they clear up all the bones afterwards as a glance at the Nugget website reveals that ardent veggie and ex-Smiths warbler Morrissey will be playing a gig there this coming November 17.

We have no idea how Mozzer plans to make his entrance on stage but if it's anything like the one Jaws made in 2010, it should be a pretty good gig:





Right, gotta go.

Kok's got his Glock out again.


Footnote

1) According to figures published on the fantastic EatFeats website, Joey Chestnut topped the 2011 prize winnings with a swag bag worth $73,250 (approximately £46,200). He was followed by Patrick 'Deep Dish' Bertoletti ($61,150); Sonya 'the Black Widow' Thomas ($38,381); and top indie eater Takeru 'Kobi' Kobayashi ($38,000). It is understood that Matt 'Megatoad' Stonie came 13th overall with winnings worth $12,975.

2) According to Kok, his mate Greasy Ron owns "some Soho butt-plug dungeon where all the top plod go". Ron, it seems, is also something of a photographer.


Picture credit

Top and thumb: Some ribs from the 2009 Best in the West Nugget Rib Cook-Off by Kelapstick

For licensing information click the above link.



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