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EATING & DRINKING

Marking the days

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Posted May 07, 2014
Freak8r
New-look Naader: Now that's a tache! © Naader Reda

The R&H may have been offline for the past three weeks but Naader 'Freak8r' Reda, Matt 'Sweet Tooth' Cohen and Tracy 'Mmm Mmm' Goode most certainly weren't.


While we here at Rake & Herald head office were busy moving into new premises beneath the Great Sphinx of Giza, other members of staff were diligently doffing their gurgitatory caps to some of the greatest days of the calendar.

Take, for example, California-based Rake & Herald competitive eating editor Naader 'Freak8r' Reda, who didn't waste a minute in pulling out all the stops to celebrate Cinco de Mayo (5/5/14) with quite possibly the most gruelling chomping challenge of all time.

Personally, I detest mayonnaise with a passion unless it's mixed up with tuna and sweet corn or served sparingly in a prawn sarnie.

Being an upstanding man of reason, Freak8r, it would appear, isn't much of a fan either.

However, in line with this momentous day and his even more momentous abilities as All Pro Eating’s #1 Ranked World Food Challenger, he dutifully put his taste buds to one side and promptly ploughed his way through five, yes FIVE, 15 oz (425 g) jars of this bloody gut-curdling stuff.

So, wanna see some true heroics and not one reversal of fortune?

Watch this...




But May 5 wasn't the only important date we missed while we waiting for a Yeti to sort out our interweb connection.

Oh no siree, Bob, because we were also totally offline for Easter (18-21/4/14) too.

Fortunately, though, Freak8r was on the case for that particular lunar-based movable feast as well.

And talking of moveable, we here within the Hall of Records can't help thinking his bowels were far from static shortly afterwards to boot.




Now, call me old fashioned but I have no sodding idea what Global Selfie Day (22/4/14) is and to be honest I don't think I want to.

But once again, Freak8r was our Johnny-on-the-spot with yet another kick-arse food-fighting treat up his sleeve.

And what's more, he won't be getting hassled by vampires anytime soon either.




Hmm.

Garlic?

Better wash that down with something.

I know.

How about sucking the f--k out of a milkshake while simultaneously shaking a bizarre kinda maraca/dumbbell thing?

And why the heck not?

Hey, it burns up some of those calories, dunnit?




But don't you dare for one minute think that Freak8r was the only alimentary athlete with a video camera marking an important date with a feat of foodacious fearlessness while we were sitting around twiddling our thumbs drinking, for fellow Californian bouche battler Matt 'Sweet Tooth' Cohen was also busy celebrating one of the most significant days in anyone's life: a day off work.

And as is his wont, he did so in truly remarkable style.

That's right, thanks to Extreme Eats UK (who we have just added to our Links page, by the way), Sweet Tooth felt inspired to delve into the furthest regions of his refrigerator.

But what kind of fridge must he possess?

Seriously, dude.

Chlorophyll and baking soda?




We're not exactly sure when International Bloody Weird Lollipop Day is but our guess is it's on or around April 13.

Why?

Because that's the day official Rake & Herald reporter and Major League Eating (MLE) pro engobulator Tracy 'Mmm Mmm' Goode posted the following up on the interweb.

Scorpions on a stick?

You'd better believe it.

Take it away, Mmm Mmm...




Please don't assume, though, that the only way to enjoy food competitively is to eat it.

After all, every May Bank Holiday (this coming May 26 as far as 2014 is concerned), you can always head to Cooper's Hill in Gloucestershire, UK for the annual Cheese Rolling race (hat tip: DJ NRG Raver).

But what be that, I hear you ask?

Well, perhaps this chap from Colorado Springs, Colorado could help you there.

He's the one dressed like an American flag.

The one who flew all the way across the Pond just to compete and the one who went on to win by a flippin' country mile.

Fair play, sir!

The tune, by the way, is The Safety Dance by Canada's Men Without Hats if you were wondering.




But hang on.

All this talk of major dates that we missed during our three-week hiatus and nobody's even mentioned by far the most important one of the lot.

May Day (1/5/14), of course!

Come.

It is time to keep your appointment with the Wicker Man.




While the first four vids were embedded here on the Rake & Herald from Freak8r's YouTube channel, the following three were taken from those of Sweet Tooth, Mmm Mmm and grindelwaldprods, respectively, with the last coming from the Dailymotion channel of Riton (de Bruxelles).


See also Let's do lunch, posted 10/4/14.


Sandi Toxic
was raised by wolves inside a disused clay pit near Lanjeth. You can befriend her on FaceBook here. She is still quite feral.


WARNING! Competitive eating can be dangerous. As well as potentially lethal choking hazards there is also the possibility of poisoning yourself, something that could lead to hospitalisation, permanent health damage and even death. Don't believe us? Read this. Consequently, the Rake & Herald does not recommend you emulate the above video(s) yourself. Seriously. We are NOT joking. You have been warned.



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