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Lovely and Monster head to Coney

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Posted June 14, 2013
juliet lee and marcos owens win through to nathan's in Pittsburgh
Guess who couldn't find a newer picture: The Lovely celebrates in Pittsburgh two years ago. © MLE

Juliet Lee and Marcos Owens have tied for first place at the eighth Nathan's qualifier in Pittsburgh.

'The Lovely' Juliet Lee and Marcos 'the Monster' Owens have bagged their places at this year's Nathan's Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest in Coney Island, Noi Yoik by gourmandising 30 hot dogs and buns (HBDs) apiece at Wednesday's (12/6/12) qualifier in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Staged at the city's Market Square, the contest's eighth qualifier of the year saw the Lovely tying for first for the second time in her Nathan's career, having previously done so back in June 2011 when she gulletised 28 HDBs along with Aaron 'A-Train' Osthoff in the very same city.

So there.

Anyway, as a result of her most recent act of digestional derring-do, she will now join Mary 'I Love 'Em Hot!' Bowers, Meredith 'Deep-Fried Diva' Boxberger, Dee 'Pi Gal' Martin, Larell Marie 'the Real Deal' Mele, Laura Riehman, Molly Schuyler and Miki Sudo in taking on incumbent Nathan's queen and the Rake & Herald's all-time favourite alimentary athlete Sonya 'the Black Widow' Thomas in what is gearing up to be the women's hot dog clash of the millennium.

Meanwhile, the Monster will lock oesophagus horns at the men's event with six-times reigning hot dog scoffing supremo Joey 'Jaws' Chestnut, Jeff 'the Beast Man' Butler, Pete 'Pretty Boy' Davekos, Pablo Martinez, A-Train, Juan 'More Bite' Rodriguez, Yasir Salem and Bob 'Notorious B.O.B.' Shoudt.

juliet lee and marcos owens win through to nathan's in Pittsburgh by eating 30 hot dogs and buns each
Off to Coney: The Monster at a different bash (that's not his own hand by the way). © Johnnie Excel

A whopping $10,000 (£6,364) and a jolly big belt awaits the ultimate winners on July 4, but what was it like eating all those dogs and buns on Wednesday?

Must have been fun, right?

Or maybe not.

"I am not a fan of hot dogs," the Monster exclusively reveals in an exclusive facebookification with the Rake & Herald.

"I'm not a picky eater but I don't like hot dogs," he continues, adding that he's "not really big on deli meats, like salami, pastrami [or] bologna" either.

"The only way I can eat hot dogs is if they have a whole bunch of toppings on them – chilli, cheese, onions, sauerkraut, etc."

"I really couldn't keep track of time because I was getting my music ready and then [emcee and Major League Eating (MLE) president Richard Shea] said go."

"I had a stopwatch on me but I didn't get time to start it."

"I basically was going off of what Juliet was doing and figuring that I was trying to keep up with her."

"I knew I could hit 30 because [in] my last practice I did 30."

"I just wanted to be consistent and have my practice mirror if not better what I'd do come contest time."

"I'm excited for Nathans but I really want to qualify for Hooters."

"That's the one that I'm really going to push for because I'm not a fan of hot dogs but I love chicken."

And fair play to him, as well as the many other gurgitators he credits with having helped him "out a lot".

Indeed, he says, he owes this win to them.

As Rake & Herald fashion editor, London cabbie, self-appointed competitive eating pundit and violent criminal Kok Wang is still missing hoped dead after last being seen drunkenly wielding a chainsaw in the direction of the hospital, we've had to rope in booze editor Dr Miltov Lamprey (struck off) to stand in for him at short notice.

However, it now transpires that Lamprey has spent the last 48 hours drinking cooking sherry and Dębowe Mocne with web editor Mr Wahaxah on a bench by the dog toilet in the park and as such can no longer speak.

In fact, he's just passed out in a puddle, his head resting on that severed nurse's foot Kok sent me in a box the other day, so it looks like we'll have to scrub the incoherent comment and analysis bit for now and move straight on to the results instead.

And here they are, based on the MLE Twitter feed and a report on the TribLIVE website we came across thanks to the excellent Eat Feats.

Bloody hell, Lamprey.

Stop farting in yer sleep, will ya?

You're putting me off.

=1) 'The Lovely' Juliet Lee (30 HDBs in 10 minutes; Women's Seat, Coney Island, July 4);

=1) Marcos 'the Monster' Owens (30; Men's Seat, Coney Island, July 4);

3) 'Big' Brian Subich (20);

4) Crazy Legs Conti (19.5);

4) William 'Wild Bill' Myers (17);

Placement unknown (PU)) Jennifer 'the Wiener Slayer' Grabner (6); and

PU) Jacob Halicek (total unknown).

Sadly, we don't know the names of the other fearless food fighters who took part in Wednesday's feeding frenzy.

Mind you, MLE reports that Wild Bill's 17 was a personal best, so hats off to him.

And hats off for that matter to everybody who took part on Wednesday, whether they were eating, emceeing, organising, sponsoring or simply watching.

Top stuff all round, with extra pats on the back destined for the Monster, who kindly took time out to speak with us.

Big, big thanks for the quotes, sir, and good luck at both the Nathan's final and the forthcoming Hooter's qualifier in Las Vegas on June 26.

And talking of forthcoming chowdowns, the next Nathan's qualifier will take place in Atlanta, Georgia this coming Saturday (15/6/13) and will be followed by three more in Boston, Massachusetts (22/6/13); Queens, Noi Yoik (29/6/13); and East Rutherford, New Jersey (29/6/13) (more details here).

In the meantime, here's some footage of Wednesday's eating from the aforementioned TribLIVE.

You can also watch a bit more by clicking this if you want.

We did try embedding it for you but failed horribly.

Unlike the Lovely and the Monster, who you can now watch storming to glory right here, right now.

Nice tune, by the way.

It's the sort of thing Jeremy Clarkson probably listens to when he's filming Top Gear.

Yeah, man.

Rock on, daddio!

Right, gotta go.

Lamprey's just shat himself.

See also Cardboard Shell on a roll, posted 10/6/13.

Meanwhile, to fully understand why there's a severed nurse's foot in the office, also make sure you read Cardboard Shell on a roll, posted 10/6/13. Then maybe read it again, eh?

Do you like our Sandi's scribblings? If so, why not befriend her on that FaceBook thing? We don't let her out much, see, preferring instead to shackle her to her desk inside an indestructible cage (it's actually a Perspex box with a couple of air holes stabbed into it with a chisel). As such, she's terribly lonely and unloved. Please find it in your heart to help her before her constant whining drives us to kill her with a sharpened curtain rod. Remember, Sandi's life is in YOUR hands so get 'friending', or whatever the trendy modern verb is. Please. She's just started crying again.

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