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EATING & DRINKING

Jaws and Black Widow win Nathan's

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Posted July 04, 2012
Chestnut wins again: I know, I know, we ran this picture the other day. (Check bottom for credit)

Nathan's latest: Joey 'Jaws' Chestnut has equalled his hot-dog-eating world record while Sonya 'the Black Widow' Thomas has set a new one for the ladies.


All-round flipping superhero Joey 'Jaws' Chestnut has won his sixth consecutive World Hot Dog Eating Championship title after knocking back a total of 68 – I repeat, sixty-eight – dogs and buns with no reversal at the 2012 Nathan's Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest on Coney Island, Noi Yoik a few minutes ago.

Chestnut, who managed to gobble down 10 dogs and buns within the first minute of the men's contest kicking off, succeeded in equalling the world record that he set at the Nathan's Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest in 2009.

"The man is unbelievable," says Rake & Herald chief hack Ignatius Rake.

"Forget Superman and all that cobblers."

"Joey Chestnut is the man, the dude, the gurgitator's gurgitator."

The news of Chestnut's historic victory comes literally moments after the Rake & Herald's all-time favourite alimentary athlete Sonya 'the Black Widow' Thomas established a new women's world record by knocking back a total of 45 – I repeat, forty-five – dogs and buns in 10 minutes during the women's event and in so doing trumping her previous best of 41, which she achieved at the 2009 Nathan's Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest.

"Let's face it," adds Rake & Herald eternal editor AC89, "Sonya Thomas deserves to have films made about here, statues erected to her and her own TV channel just showing her knocking back the grub non-stop night and day."

"I know I'd watch."

Meanwhile, Sean 'Flash' Gordon, who came equal seventh with Erik 'the Red' Denmark with 32 hot dogs in the men's event, has been named Rookie of the Year.

"He's clearly a man to watch," says fashion editor Kok Wang.

"But why Tim 'Eater X' Janus didn't do a monster belch and make them all reverse is beyond me."

"I could have been 10 grand up."

Both the men's and women's events were apparently streamed live over the interweb on Disney-owned ESPN.

However, when we paid them some money to watch, their website kept redirecting us back to the same bloody page we'd just come from.

We were not amused.

In fact, we swore a lot and got very angry.

Very angry indeed1.

Fortunately, we were able to keep up-to-speed with the eating via Major League Eating's (MLE) Twitter feed, which is how we ascertained the following (preliminary) results:


Women's Hot Dog Eating Championships
1) Sonya Thomas (45 hot dogs in 10 minutes)

2) Juliet Lee (33)

3) Michelle Lesco (25.5)

4) Meredith Boxberger (21.5)

5) Larell Marie Mele (21.25)

6) Maria Edible (18.5)

7) Dee Martin (9.5)

8) Neslie Ricasa (9)

10) Mary Bowers (8.5)

11) Theresa Subich (7)

12) Mia (which might be Nicole Anderson but we're not sure) (6)

13) Molly Nemunaitis (5.5)

14) Janice Deregla (3)

We have yet to hear what happened to Heather Osthoff, or if Osthoff is 'Mia', what happened to Nicole Anderson.


Men's Hot Dog Eating Championships
1) Joey Chestnut (68 hot dogs in 10 minutes)

2) Tim Janus (52.25)

3) Patrick Bertoletti (51)

4) Matt Stonie (46)

5) Bob Shoudt (45)

6) Adrian Morgan (35)

=7) Sean Gordon and Erik Denmark (32)

9) Micah Collins (31)

10) Tim Brown (30.5)

11) Pete Davekos (28)

12) Eric Booker (25.5)

13) Yasir Salem (25)

14) Crazy Legs Conti (20)

15) Lee Vilinsky (15)

As with his wife, we have yet to hear what happened to Aaron Osthoff.

Stay tuned for more news as it comes our way. Remember, no other news organ is as dedicated to competitive eating as the Rake & Herald – and that's a fact!


See also Get ready to chomp, posted 30/6/12.


Footnote

1) Although fair play, ESPN were pretty prompt in agreeing to a refund.


Picture credit

Top and thumb: Joey Chestnut by Ethan from Manhattan.

For licensing information click the above link.



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