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I told you it was a typo

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Posted August 02, 2012
the lovely juliet lee
Revised results: Juliet Lee came fifth with 119 wings in 10 minutes. (Check bottom for credit)

Major League Eating (MLE) has issued a revised set of results regarding last Thursday's Hooters World Chicken Wing-Eating Championship in Clearwater, Florida, US of A.

While Joey 'Jaws' Chestnut did indeed land the Hooters crown by necking a whopping 144 chicken wings in 10 minutes in what MLE describes as "a polished performance worthy of his status as the greatest eater who has ever lived", and while Adrian 'the Rabbit' Morgan did come a close second with 140, it seems something went astray with the rest of the results.

Or as MLE puts it: "As the party raged in West Florida... some results came through a tad bumpy."

Which is understandable.

Anyway, it appears that the Rake & Herald's favourite alimentary athlete Sonya 'the Black Widow' Thomas came third with a total of 131 chicken wings and no reversal.

Not third with 119 as previously stated.

Moreover, fourth place went to Patrick 'Deep Dish' Bertoletti with 120 wings eaten, no doubt stirred on by the tweet we sent him the day before and which he subsequently 'favorited'.

Nice one, Deep Dish.

Meanwhile, fifth place went to 'the Lovely' Juliet Lee, who ate 119 wings, with sixth and seventh, the last two cash-winning placements, going to Tim 'Gravy' Brown (115) and Bob 'Notorious B.O.B.' Shoudt (102).

"While some called Adrian's placement ahead of Sonya an upset, the Black Widow would have none of it," MLE says.

"In post-contest comments she made it clear that in technique-based foodstuff only a fool would sleep on the Rabbit."

"Thomas, no fool, did not."

Probably the biggest upset/moment of national pride for Brits like yours truly concerned the battle for 10th place, which saw Londoner Lewis Richards outeating DJ NRG Raver's favourite gurgitator Crazy Legs Conti 55 to 53.

But could Lewis Richards eat his way out of a popcorn sarcophagus like Crazy Legs did back in 2004?

Who knows, but it would make great viewing to find out.

Admittedly, MLE issued the revised version of the results a few days ago but I wasn't around to write it up.

I needed some 'me time', as Americans put it.

So I called in sick, went to France and stole a car.

Well, I say 'stole' but it wasn't really stealing.

Someone had left this car in the street with the doors locked, so I twocked it.

Crashed it into a shop as well.

The cops were livid.

So I kicked one in the nuts and ran away.

Anyway, here are the results in full with the relevant cash prizes included:

1) Joey Chestnut, 144 ($7,500);

2) Adrian Morgan, 140 ($3,000);

3) Sonya Thomas, 131 ($2,000);

4) Patrick Bertoletti, 120 ($1,000);

5) Juliet Lee, 119 ($750);

6) Tim Brown, 115 ($500);

7) Bob Shoudt, 102 ($250);

8) Erik Denmark, 88;

9) Nate Biller, 85;

10) Lewis Richards, 55;

11) Crazy Legs Conti, 53; and

12) Aasiff Mandvi, 21.

Congratulations to all the eaters who took part and may they all do even better at next year's event.

Right, gotta go.

Interpol's at the door asking questions.

See also Chestnut chomps to victory, posted 27/7/12.

Picture credit

Top and thumb: 'The Lovely' Juliet Lee by 'the Lovely' Juliet Lee.

For licensing information click the above link.

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