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EATING & DRINKING

Hail the egg banjo!

By sandwich expert John Blokker

Posted October 12, 2012
what is an egg banjo?
Ready for action: An egg banjo awaiting orders, sir. © Ignatius Rake

There are many great foods to be had in the Multiverse but nothing, nothing whatsoever, comes close to the egg banjo.


According to a British Sandwich Association (BSA) press release, the UK's third favourite sandwich filling is egg.

Indeed, so popular is the humble egg that the British sandwich industry apparently uses 14,000 tonnes of the things each year.

To honour both British Egg Week, which ran from October 1 to October 7, and the 250th anniversary of the sandwich this year, the BSA, the press release reveals, asked master chef and author Tom Bridge to devise a new and suitably special egg sandwich recipe.

The result was an egg, cress and cream cheese jobbie with "a touch of garlic" that "will be featuring as the Sandwich of the Month in retail sandwich shops this October".

As responsible hacks, we felt it only our duty to give the recipe a cursory glance.

Having done this, we can now confirm that it doesn't look too bad if you like that sort of thing.

However, despite its inclusion in the press release, we simply couldn't be arsed to post it up1.

Why?

Three words.

The egg banjo.



eating an egg banjo egg banjos rule!
Let battle commence! An egg banjo under attack. Note the blood-like ketchup. © Ignatius Rake

YOU CAN'T BEAT THE BEST
The thing is, when it comes to egg sandwiches, and indeed food in general, nothing, and I mean nothing can come close to trumping the egg banjo.

For those poor wretched souls that know nothing of the greatest culinary creation on God's clean Earth, the egg banjo is a relatively simple operation to perform, requiring the presence of just one fried egg between two slices of bread (although more fried eggs can be added to taste).

Of course, such is the wondrous nature of the egg banjo that should you feel so inclined you could always use rolls or baps etc instead of bread.

Mind you, the purists may beg to differ, arguing that only sliced white bread spread with marge should ever be employed.

We at the Rake & Herald, though, are generally broad-minded and forgiving in such matters so we're not going to bother splitting pubes over that one.

However, there is one rule that may never be broken.

The yolk(s) must always be runny.



EGG, SIR, I WILL!
A staple of the British Army since at least World War II (1939-45), the egg banjo is not only a bloody tasty snack and a fortifying tonic, it is also fantastically messy to eat.

But why the name?

Why isn't it just a fried egg sandwich?

Well, in the words of the ARRSEPedia, which describes itself as "a wiki, just like Wikipedia, but for the British Army", a fried egg sandwich "becomes a banjo when the yolk and [optional brown or tomato] sauce dribble down your front".

"You move the hand containing the sandwich away and up to a point level with your ear as you look down your front and, usually to an accompanying 'Aw bollocks', you wipe/smear the said yolk and sauce into your shirt with your free hand giving a passing imitation of playing 'air banjo'."

Yep, the egg banjo is the pinnacle of perfection and we at the Rake & Herald f--king love them.

And in this, we are certainly not alone.

Don't believe me?

Then check out this thread on the Army Rumour Service (ARRSE) .

Egg banjos, we salute you!


See also September sandwich shocker, posted 21/9/12.


Footnote

1) If you want a copy of the Tom Bridge recipe, bung us an email and we'll pass it on to you. Meanwhile, if you want to take part in the BSA's online October draw and possibly win an iPad and/or a holiday in the Sandwich Islands, viz the US state of Hawaii, have a click here.



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