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Doughnuts: The facts

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Posted March 21, 2013
tuffers does a doughnut
The Cat: Tuffers does a doughnut. © The Children's Trust

Like doughnuts? Then you'd better read this...

Middlesex and England cricketing hero and one of the Rake & Herald's all-time favourite slow left-arm bowlers Phil 'Tuffers/the Cat/Two Sugars/the Doctor/That Bloke off the Tele These Days Because He Doesn't Play Professional Cricket Anymore As Far As We're Aware' Tufnell is throwing his weight behind National Doughnut Week, which isn't really a week as it will actually span eight days from Saturday, May 11 to Saturday, May 18.

Certainly, we at the Rake & Herald hope that National Doughnut Week will prove to be less anticlimactic than National Pie Week, which was a bit of a damp squib as far as we were concerned.

Although in all fairness that was probably the fault of pie-hungry extraterrestrials.

Or something.

Anyway, so a press release informs us, National Doughnut Week will provide a chance "to raise some dough for The Children's Trust", which its website states is "a national charity working with children with acquired brain injury, multiple disabilities and complex health needs".

So a pretty good cause then.

Now back to that press release.

Yep, here it is.

"Now in its 22nd year, and having raised over £755,000 for children's charities through the sale of 14m doughnuts, it is hoped that more independent craft bakers will take part in the event and that food retailers and coffee shops across the UK will join in as well to help to make this year the most successful ever," it says.

"The annual event, sponsored by CSM United Kingdom Limited, is a fun week of enjoying delicious doughnut treats," the press release continues, adding that an unspecified "percentage from each doughnut sale through participating bakers and businesses" will be donated to the aforementioned charity.

"I do hope that bakers, food retailers, coffee shops and the public will get behind this year's fundraising event and help to raise as much money as possible for a very special charity," says Tuffers, who as well as taking 121 Test scalps at an average of 37.68 is also vice-president of The Children's Trust.

He's also the president of Cricket for Change.

And Liberia.

Oh no, that's Ellen Johnson Sirleaf.

Still, you never see them in the same photo so who knows?

Tuffers probably.

And Sirleaf, I guess.

A few other people as well, probably.

Now back to that press release again.

"There are lots of fun ways for the general public to raise money: taking on a doughnut-eating challenge with family, friends or work colleagues or by holding a doughnut-themed event," it says.

Hmm, any competitive eaters out there?

For more details have a click of this.

It's a well-known fact that everybody likes doughnuts, especially curried fish ones.

But how much do you know about these amazing amphibians?

Have a read of the following facts that were also included with the press release and then memorise them until you can't remember your name or tie your shoe laces.

But be warned.

One of them we made up ourselves.

Can you tell which one it is?

1) Eric 'Badlands' Booker holds the world record for doughnut eating having gulletised 49 glazed doughnuts in 8 minutes in October 2002;

2) More people in the UK buy doughnuts on a Saturday than any other day of the week, with 20.1% of doughnuts bought on that day;

3) If all the doughnuts sold since National Doughnut Week began were piled one on top of each other they would not only cause a major hazard for aircraft and geese but they would also reach all the way to the International Space Station (were it in a geostationary orbit and didn't fluctuate its altitude) and back again;

4) Fourteen million doughnuts with a diameter of 10 cm laid end-to-end would reach from John O'Groats in Scotland to Land's End in the Republic of Cornwall;

5) The first doughnut machine was invented in New York in 1920 by Adolph Levitt, a refugee from Czarist Russia;

6) The first doughnuts were probably invented by the Dutch in the Middle Ages and were known as olykoeks, or 'oily cakes';

7) Created in 1998, the world's largest doughnut weighed 2,268 kg and had a diameter of 30 m – more than twice the length of a 14.9 m egg;

8) Elvis Presley's only TV commercial was for Southern Made Doughnuts in 1954;

9) Ten billion doughnuts are made in the US every year;

10) Due to the lack of gravity in space, astronauts have to eat tinned doughnuts through a wasp.


As anyone who follows the sport of gurgitation will be aware, there is often some dispute over the matter of records.

Certainly, it would appear that Badlands holds the Major League Eating (MLE) doughnut eating record.

However, it has just been brought to our attention that this past December Jamie 'the Bear' McDonald also displayed some rather dynamic doughnut dispatchment, chobbling down a whopping 60 Krispy Kreme doughnuts in 9 minutes 17.28 seconds.

So who claims the record?

According to Recordsetter, it's the Bear.

And this would appear to be supported by our cheapy calculator, which gives Badlands a scarfing rate of roughly 0.102 doughnuts per second (dps) or 6.12 doughnuts per minute (dpm) compared to the Bear's higher respective figures of 0.108 dps and 6.48 dpm.

But were the doughnuts of equal weight, density, sweetness and the like?

Who knows?

Not us.

And given that we at the Rake & Herald hold Badlands and the Bear in equally high regard, we are definitely not looking to start a bun (pun) fight.

But we are going to embed the pertinent vid from the Bear's YouTube channel 'cos it's flipping ace.

Face it, both Badlands and the Bear are true gurgitational greats so major respect to the pair of them.

Now put your feet up and have a watch of the scoff yourself.

Bon appétit!

(Update same day)

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