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Deakin bakes second pasty crown

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Posted March 05, 2013
kernow king with a pasty, the iconic food of Cornwall
Pasty-tastic: Kernow King shows off his oggy, be. © Eden Project

Billy Deakin has once more baked his way to glory at the second annual World Pasty Championships in Cornwall.

In an unprecedented twist of fate, the Rake & Herald, which has just been officially voted Europe's leading competitive eating website by the staff of the Rake & Herald, now finds itself reporting on a food competition where the objective was to make stuff slowly rather than demolish it as fast as humanly possible.

That's right, what with today (5/3/13) being St Piran's Day, the national day of the former Celtic Kingdom of Cornwall, or Kernow in Cornish, we feel it only right to bring you, yes YOU, our cherished and beloved readers, the results of the World Pasty Championships staged this past Saturday (2/3/13) at that Eden Project thing that's located inside a big hole somewhere between St Austell, St Blazey and the UK's third city Trethurgy.

Now, if your knowledge of the pasty, the national food of Cornwall, is somewhat scant, fear not for enlightenment rapidly approaches.

Without going into the finer details, the traditional Cornish pasty, or oggy, is comprised of chunky cuts of beef skirt, potato, onion and swede (aka turnip or rutabaga among other names) that is then seasoned with salt and black pepper.

At no point does it include carrot, alright?

This is then parcelled up into a roughly D-shaped pastry case that is itself sealed with a thick hand-crimped crust along the unit's rounded flank but never on top before being slowly baked in an oven.

As detailed elsewhere on this website, the pointy end is always eaten first, with the crust either fully or partially discarded as an offering to the Knockers, the elemental spirits that live inside the rock through which the Cornish sank their world-famous copper and tin mines.

Both the symbolic and staple food of Cornwall, the pasty is to Kernow what the hot dog is to Nathan's and the haggis to Scotland.

What's more, since 2011, Cornish pasties have been afforded Protected Geographical Indication (PGI) status in the EU, meaning it is now punishable by chemical castration to label a product for sale as a 'Cornish pasty' unless it is made in Cornwall to the traditional recipe, although it doesn't have to be cooked there.

Got that?


Oh, and one last thing.

Despite what those tossers at the Guardian claim, the pasty is never called a "pasty pie".

But then as an excellent T-shirt available from the Daily Mash so accurately puts it, the Guardian is "wrong about everything all of the time".

The sanctimonious shits.

The Guardian that is.

Not the Daily Mash, which we read quite often and highly recommend.

Anyway, back to the World Pasty Championships, which in the Cornish Pasty Amateur category saw top gong for the second year running going to Billy Deakin of Mount Hawke in Cornwall, who last year, a press release littered with comma splices informs us, was forced to miss the prize-giving ceremony because "he had to get home to walk his dog Zero".

"It feels great to win," Deakin is quoted as saying.

"Last year, it was a bit of a surprise but this year I really wanted to win."

"I made the same pasty I always make at home and the judges obviously liked it as much as I do."

"I put a lot of effort and time into it: I wanted to make sure it was as good as it could be."

"I'm over the moon."

"It's been a really good day, loads of great entertainment and it tops it off to actually win again."

"We've put the dog in a kennels and we're out celebrating tonight so it could be a late one!"

While we have yet to learn whether Deakin did indeed stay up past his usual bedtime, we can confidently confirm that the aptly named Henry Cornish, the 14-year-old son of last year's Cornish Pasty and Open Savoury Professional winner Graham Cornish (who this year sat out the competition), landed the laurels in the Open Savoury Junior category.

At the same time, his brother Simon, 11, also pocketed silver in the Cornish Pasty Junior category.

Commenting on his triumph, Henry Cornish stated: "I'm a bit surprised to be honest."

"I wasn't really expecting it because I entered just for fun but I'm really happy."

"My dad winning last year opened up my eyes so I thought that I would have a go this year."

"I did a pizza pasty because I absolutely love pizza so I thought why don't I try and make it into a pasty?"

Good thinking, sir.

Clearly a plan that came together in a manner much loved by Hannibal out of The A-Team.

Pasty map: What Cornwall looks like from the Moon. © Eden Project

Also recognised for his efforts was Cornish-born Mike Amery, who, the press release reveals, jointly picked up the coveted Pasty Ambassador award with his friend Louisa Haggerty after they flew over from New Hope, Pennsylvania in the United States of A "to source ingredients fresh from a farm before preparing what [they] hoped [would] be the perfect pasty".

Apparently, Amery "baked two different entries, a traditional Cornish pasty" and, "in the non-Cornish category, one of his personal favourites, a lamb pasty with mint and a blending of traditional vegetables".

"We're very grateful for the award and hope we can live up to the title," he said at some point prior to the drafting of the press release.

"We'll now have to spread the word across the whole US."

This we certainly hope he does as we would dearly love to see Joey 'Jaws' Chestnut, Jamie 'the Bear' McDonald, Sonya 'the Black Widow' Thomas and Miki Sudo scarfing down half a tonne of oggies in less time than it takes to boil an egg.

And talking of chobbling, while he wasn't gulletising against the clock, one person who certainly did do his fair share of pasty mastication on Saturday was Luke 'From the Moon' Williams, who, speaking exclusively to the Rake & Herald by electronic twitterifaction systems, confirmed that he was indeed one of the oggy umpires responsible for judging the entries at this year's bash.

"It's true I was a judge," he told us and not the bloody Guardian.

"It was a fat boy's dream."

"I've not seen that much pastry since I went to Sunderland."

"I also saw a man in leather trousers."

At press time it remained unclear whether the trousers in question were standard model strides or something more akin to the revolutionary new jodhousers invented by former middleweight boxing champ Chris Eubank that skillfully meld the traditional suit trouser with those jodhpur things horsey types are fond of wearing.

However, From the Moon did spill the beans on a matter that has hithertofore been roundly ignored by the rest of the global media.

"I am scared of only one thing," he tweeted.

"Custard skin."

We share your fears, brother.

And thanks for the exclusive quotes.

The cheque's in the post.

Supported by the Cornish Pasty Association, which really does exist, "the Olympics of the Oggy", the press release continues, saw "thousands of avid pasty fans" flocking to that Eden thing for an "intense day-long competition" that was also "crammed full of home-grown entertainment [skunk weed presumably] and activities for visitors to get involved with".

These included live music and comedy from local stand-up Kernow King as well as "pasty workshops", "speed-crimping competitions" and beer tasting at the Sharp's real ale bar.

More importantly, and despite the lack of any competitive gurgitation going on, "more than 125 professional and amateur bakers" rolled up to take part in this year's pasty baking blitz, with the winners of each of the eight different categories "announced at a ceremony dubbed the Oggy Oscars".

And so on that note, for both pasty posterity and your personal pleasure, here are the names of those very winners...

Cornish Pasty Amateur

Winner: Billy Deakin from Mount Hawke, Cornwall.

Second: Jonathan Lovejoy from Plymstock, Plymouth

Third: Vanessa Farr from Bristol

Cornish Pasty Professional

Winner: Andy Heath from Bodmin, Cornwall

Second: Ryan Smedley from Padstow, Cornwall

Third: Tom Smith from Padstow, Cornwall

Cornish Pasty Company

Winner: Pasty Presto

Second: Warrens Bakery

Third: Brian Etherington Meat Company

Cornish Pasty Junior

Winner: Tabitha Delbridge, aged 6 from Helston, Cornwall

Second: Simon Cornish, aged 11, from Launceston, Cornwall

Third: Jessica Piotrowicz, aged 11, from Redruth, Cornwall

Open Savoury Amateur

Winner: Terry O'Connor from Watford

Second: Mary Jane Burrage from Bristol

Third: Laura-Jayne Atkinson from Feock, Cornwall

Open Savoury Professional

Winner: Luisa Ead from Padstow, Cornwall

Second: Jason Jobling from Penzance, Cornwall

Third: Dave Plechowicz from St Stephen, Cornwall

Open Savoury Company

Winner: Chough Bakery

Second: The Royal Marine

Third: Pasty Presto

Open Savoury Junior

Winner: Henry Cornish, aged 14, from Launceston, Cornwall

Second: Christie Underwood, age and geographic origin unknown/a secret

Third: Liam Cudlipp, aged 4, from Bodmin, Cornwall

Well done to all.

We just hope you remembered to leave some of your oggy for the Knockers or else the mine'll collapse.

Right, gotta go.

I've been baking this muddy pasty for two days straight and if I don't crimp it off right now the bleddy oven door's gonna blow.


See also Fingerprints of the Jacks? (Pt 1), posted 7/6/12.

Happy St Piran's Day to you all.

Leun a sylli yw ow skath bargesi!

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