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EATING & DRINKING

Chestnut retains taco title

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Posted August 11, 2012
taco bell tacos like what joey jaws chestnut ate
Tacos: Actually these are the hard shell ones but we imagine they're pretty similar. (Check bottom for credit)

Joey 'Jaws' Chestnut, the unstoppable San Jose eating machine, has stormed to victory at the Taco Bell Why Pay More! Soft Taco Challenge in Puerto Rico.


Joey 'Jaws' Chestnut, a 28-year-old engineering graduate and probably the last person you want turning up at your all-you-can-eat buffet unless you fancy a brush with bankruptcy, last night wolfed down a total of 52 soft shell beef tacos in 10 minutes to retain his taco-chomping crown.

While his belly-bursting tally was precisely one taco fewer than the world record number he gulletised 12 months ago, it was nonetheless more than enough to land Jaws the $1,000 top prize.

At present, full details of the results remain scant.

However, it is understood that Tim 'Eater X' Janus is now $600 better off after coming second with 43 tacos despatched, one more than the 42 he scoffed last year when he tied for second with Matt 'Megatoad' Stonie.


CHARITY CHOMPING
According to a statement on the Major League Eating (MLE) website, "Taco Bell is the leader in the Mexican fast food segment in Puerto Rico", where it is operated by Encanto Restaurants, "the third largest employer on the island".

MLE also reports that for every taco eaten by the winner Taco Bell will donate $100 to the Boys & Girls Clubs of Puerto Rico.

The thing is, they should probably also bung another $100 over to a proofreader.

'Why pay more' is a question and should therefore be followed by a question mark not an exclamation mark.

Tut.

Honestly.


WHAT THE PUNDITS SAY
News of the Chestnut victory was immediately welcomed by London cabbie and Rake & Herald fashion editor Kok Wang despite him being "a dyed-in-the-wool Eater X fan".

"I'm a dyed-in-the-wool Eater X fan myself," he says unaware I'm recording him.

"But that Chestnut is simply amazing."

"I mean, he eats like a man possessed."

"Not literally, of course."

"That would be a total bloody Trevor1."

"Especially if he started vomiting green puke all over the place like her off The Exorcist."

"Not only would it be well fackin' minging, but it would also be classed as a 'reversal of fortune' and that's an instant disqualification."

"So scrub that."

"Let's just say he eats like a man on fire."

"Although that would be bloody 'orrible too."

"Plus, a man on fire would probably be too distracted by the searing pain, flames and smoke involved to concentrate on eating stuff, whether it be 52 soft shell tacos or 68 hot dogs," he waffles on until I've got enough to pad out this report.

Right, that's me done.

Gotta go.

Need a dump.


Footnote

1) Cockney rhyming slang: Trevor Sinclair = nightmare.


Picture credit

Top and thumb: Three Taco Bell hard shell tacos by Steven DePolo from Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA.

For licensing information click the above link.



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