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Calling all UK gurgitators!

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Posted May 25, 2015
Japanese TV station seeks UK competitive eaters
Your country needs you: To scarf food against the clock in the States! No copyright known

Japanese TV station seeks UK alimentary athletes to compete for place in US speedscarfing contest.

Are you a budding or established competitive eater from the UK?

Would you like to be on TV and compete in an eating contest in the United States of A?

Well, get a load of this then.

We here at the Rake & Herald have just received an email from "a popular and long-running Japanese TV programme" that is "looking for enthusiastic and daring participants" to do just that.

Initially, the fearless British gurgitators will have to compete in a qualifying contest to be staged in the UK this coming July or August, with the top four food fighters then going on to form a UK national team to compete in the final chowdown showdown in the States.

Admittedly, we don't have much else in the way of other details to share with you, yes YOU, the cherished and beloved readers of the Rake & Herald, at this very moment in time but if you're interested in participating, please send an email here to find out more.

And good luck!

Who knows, you may well be the next Joey 'Jaws' Chestnut or Miki Sudo.

Either way, don't feel compelled to send us 10% of all your future winnings.

We'll want much more than that!

Sandi Toxic was raised by wolves inside a disused clay pit near Lanjeth. You can befriend her on FaceBook here. She is still quite feral.

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