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Bear breaks Hamantaschen record

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Posted February 25, 2013
bear breaks Hamantaschen record
Hamantaschen: How many could you eat in five minutes? © APE

Jamie 'the Bear' McDonald has wolfed his way to victory at the Second Annual EL AL Israel Airlines National Hamantaschen Eating Championship.

Jamie 'the Bear' McDonald has continued his unstoppable rise to international chomping glory with a record-breaking win at the All Pro Eating- (APE) sanctioned 2013 National Hamantaschen Eating Championship in Noi Yoik, Noi Yoik.

The event, marking the Jewish holiday of Purim, saw the Bear guzzling a whopping 48 of these traditional filled pastries in just five minutes, practically doubling the total of 25 that Will 'the Champ' Millender gulletised at last year's bash.

Based on what it says on the APE website, we understand that the Bear now gets his food-encrusted paws on a round-trip airline ticket to Israel, although whether he'll wear those strange little socks they often give you on long-haul flights remains unclear.

Anyway, staged at the Congregation Kehilath Jeshurun near Central Park, if we've read the map right, the event followed a beat-the-pro format and as such was only open to amateur alimentary athletes and of course the one chosen professional.

In this case, the Bear, if you were having trouble working that one out.

From what we gather, had one of the amateurs won, the prize would have doubled.

However, whether that means they would have pocketed two round-trip tickets or whether they would have been flown twice as far, such as to Mongolia or somewhere, is anyone's guess.

Who knows?

Not us.

But what we do know is that the Bear won and he currently has interweb access.

"Was a great contest and sponsor," he exclusively tweets the Rake & Herald.

"First time eating them [hamantaschen, not the sponsors] but they were very good."

"A drier cookie so [they] take a lot of water."

Well, let's hope he's left room for some champagne, but when's he off for his holiday?

"Maybe fall time," he says.

"Will see."

Top eating, sir, and don't forget to pack your toothbrush!

At this point, Rake & Herald fashion editor, London cabbie and self-appointed competitive eating pundit Kok Wang would normally open his great fat gob and bore us all to tears.

However, we've just had word from that bent solicitor he drinks with down the Crown and Anchor that he's had a bit of car trouble.

Apparently, his foot slipped and he accidentally reversed his cab into a jeweller's window.

Three times.

Sadly, he didn't injure himself but the prang caused his boot (or 'trunk' as they say in the States) to magically spring open, whereupon an estimated 20 grand's worth of sparklers and Tom fell in only to somehow cover itself up with a bloodstained blanket the fuzz reckon will link him to a serious disturbance outside a public house last week.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, yours truly has now gotta get herself down the nick pretty bloody pronto to bail him out with the old hairy chequebook.


So apologies for the rush, but here are the results as far as we can ascertain from the fantastic Eat Feats website and Kayla Epstein's Twitter feed.

1) Jamie 'the Bear' McDonald (48 Hamantaschen; round-trip ticket to Israel);

2) Nathaniel No Idea What His Surname Is (34.5);

3) The Ukraine Train (33);

4) Kevin Sloan (24); and

5) Jake Zach ("just under 24").

We're pretty sure more people took part in the speed scoffing, with the top three amateurs all getting a prize of some sort.

However, that's as much as we know right now.

But to make up for our embarrassing lack of info, here's one of the best vids we've seen in ages.

We love Cadbury's Cream Eggs at the Rake & Herald.

They're a longstanding UK institution that we munch on all year round.

However, unlike the Bear, none of us have tried shoving 50 of 'em down our necks in 14 minutes and 5 seconds.

Although we gather Miki Sudo may well be giving it a go in the not too distant future.

In the meantime, sit back and enjoy.

Watch more of the Bear's top-notch food-fighting videos on his YouTube channel here, why don't you?

Right, gotta go.

Kok's kicked off a dirty protest and you can smell it all the way up the high street.

See also Beat on the brat, posted 14/10/12.

Do you like our Sandi's scribblings? If so, why not befriend her on that Facebook thing? We don't let her out much, see, preferring instead to shackle her to her desk inside an indestructible cage (it's actually a Perspex box with a couple of air holes stabbed into it with a chisel). As such, she's terribly lonely and unloved. Please find it in your heart to help her before her constant whining drives us to kill her with a sharpened curtain rod. Remember, Sandi's life is in YOUR hands so get 'friending', or whatever the trendy modern verb is. Please. She's just started crying again.

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