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EATING & DRINKING

Action burgers!

By editorial assistant Sandi Toxic

Posted July 28, 2017
Freak8r, the Spicochist and Hoosier Redneck go big-time burger bonkers

Food fighters Freak8r, the Spicochist and Hoosier Redneck go big-time burger bonkers.



We may have been on hiatus for the past 18 months, putting together our glorious Rake Clag online T-shirt shop, but that certainly didn't stop Rake & Herald competitive eating editor Naader 'Freak8r' Reda from rising to many a monumental food fight in our absence.

In fact, a quick look round his grub-bashing YouTube channel reveals that he kept himself pretty busy while we were gone, taking on and defeating a wide range of challenges, from a 6-lb (1.7-kg) steak and a 6-lb burrito to a 24" (61 cm) cheese steak sandwich and even an 8-lb Italian family feast.

What's more, at the start of this month (July 2017 for future historians) he also became officially world famous when he wolfed down a 2-lb burger and a load of chips in Anaheim, California.

Admittedly not Freak8r's most gut-busting belly battle to date but I'm in the mood for burgers right now so here it is for your pleasure and enjoyment.

Take it away, Freak8r…




MEAT MOUNTAIN
And to prove he can definitely take on larger challenges (read this for starters), I'm setting the time machine's coordinates back to February and a 9-lb Fatburger he quite rightly describes as a "meat mountain".

Consisting of 18 patties and clocking up some 17,000 calories, this was no light lunch.

What's more the burger stakes were higher than a hippy in mushroom farm as victory here would see him ripping up the existing record that had stood since 2010.

I'll leave it to Freak8r to fill you in on the rest, as his erudite commentary beats anything I could rattle off from afar

However, I will say this.

I may not have watched every single food challenge that has been posted on the interweb but in this job I've seen a fair flippin' few.

And trust me, this Herculean toothing task was right up there with the toughest of the tough.

I'm not sure what he had for afters, but I hope it was something nice because this was a really well-fought victory.

Epic is a much overused word these days, but this burger battle was most definitely that.

Salutes, sir.

Salutes, indeed.




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GHOST PEPPERS ARE GO!
Now, as you will hopefully still be able to recall, in that first vid Freak8r was not chomping alone.

Rather, he was scoffing to glory in the company of our old mate and Rake & Herald regular Aaron 'the Spicochist' Wakamatsu.

So, apart from hooking up with Freak8r in Anaheim, what's the man with the asbestos mouth been up to while we were glued to Photoshop, doing designs like the one lovingly pictured in the advert above?

Well, quite a bit, really, as you can see if you have a mooch round his YouTube channel here.

For example, when not sticking a load of powdered peanut butter in his coffee, he's been torturing himself with tuna and ice cream while also slipping out of his house to slay a 24" giant spicy schawarma.

Sticking with the burgers, though, he also found time while we were arting our faces off to bosh a triple-patty jobbie from Carls Jr, which – this being the Spicochist – he promptly doused with a load of ghost pepper condiments that would've left most mere mouth mortals clutching their throats and puking out their eyeballs.

But which condiments did he use?

Stay tuned, the answer's coming right up...




MID-WEST MASTICATION
But Freak8r and the Spicochist aren't the only food fighters to have taken on the burger of late.

Oh, no siree, Bob.

Making his début on the hallowed pages of the Rake & Herald is a chap who, given his name, I'm darn sure comes from Indiana, the Hoosier State, as I'll have you know I think I know it's known.

Now this vid was something of a lucky find, which fortune flung into my lap while I was decluttering the Rake & Herald Twitter feed earlier.

The valiant gurgitator in question is, of course, Redneck Hoosier, whose YouTube channel you can take a gander at simply by clicking this.

And the nature of his burger bashing?

Twelve patties in a bun in 2 minutes with some pretty impressive belching to boot.

But don't worry about his table manners because he didn't use one, preferring instead to engobulate the lot while sitting in a car.

How he managed to parallel park it at the same time is anyone's guess but top chomping, sir!

Looking forward to the upcoming 20-patty challenge next week.

Especially if you do it while riding a motorbike.

Joke.

Don't do that.

Seriously.

Don't.

You'll get all covered in ketchup.




See also Happy birthday, Miki!, posted 22/7/17.


Sandi Toxic
was raised by wolves inside a disused clay pit near Lanjeth. You can befriend her on FaceBook here. She is still quite feral.


WARNING! Competitive eating can be dangerous. As well as potentially lethal choking hazards there is also the possibility of poisoning yourself, something that could lead to hospitalisation, permanent health damage and even death. Consequently, the Rake & Herald does not recommend you emulate the above video(s) yourself. Seriously. We are NOT joking. You have been warned.


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